I’m Superman

By Bek <superbek1984@gmail.com>

Rated: G

Submitted: May 2023

Summary: Clark has always seemed a little trigger-happy when it comes to popping the question. He really needs to work on talking himself out of it. A Seussian tale* in iambic tetrameter.

Story Size: 866 words (4Kb as text)

Author’s Note: I have no idea how this happened, really. I could say KSaraSara made me do it, and that would probably be the truth. But I can’t ignore that there was also too little sleep involved and probably one too many Clark-is-totally-ready-to-propose-already jokes… In any case, um, enjoy?

***

I am him.

Him I am.

I’m Superman!

I’m Superman!

I must tell her I’m Superman!

Will you ask her for her hand?

I must tell her I’m Superman.

Before I ask her for her hand.

Would you ask her here or there?

I cannot ask her here or there.

I cannot ask her anywhere.

I cannot ask her for her hand

Until she knows I’m Superman.

Would you ask her in a house?

Would you ask to be her spouse?

I cannot ask her in a house.

I cannot ask to be her spouse.

I cannot ask her here or there.

I cannot ask her anywhere.

I cannot ask her for her hand.

Until she knows I’m Superman.

Would you ask her with a box?

Would the ring have diamond rocks?

Not with a box. Not diamond rocks.

Not in a house. To be her spouse.

I would not ask her here or there.

I would not ask her anywhere.

I would not ask her for her hand

Until she knows I’m Superman.

Would you? Could you? In a car?

Ask her! Ask her! There you are.

I would not, could not, in a car.

You can ask her. You will see.

You can ask her in a tree!

I would not, could not in a tree.

Not in a car! She must know me.

I cannot ask her with a box.

I cannot ask with diamond rocks.

I cannot ask her in a house.

I cannot ask to be her spouse.

I cannot ask her here or there.

I cannot ask her anywhere.

I cannot ask her for her hand

Until she knows I’m Superman.

A train! A train! A train! A train!

Could you, would you on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! It’s wrong you see!

I would not, could not with a box.

I would not, could not with those rocks.

I will not ask to be her spouse.

I will not ask her in a house.

I will not ask her here or there.

I will not ask her anywhere.

I will not ask her for her hand

Until she knows I’m Superman.

Say! In the dark! Here in the dark!

Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you in the rain?

[there is a pause. Clark seems to consider this, then he shakes his head]

I would not, could not in the rain.

Not in the dark. Not on a train.

Not in a car. Not in a tree.

I cannot ask, it’s wrong, you see.

Not in a house. Not in a box.

To be my spouse with diamond rocks.

I will not ask her here or there.

I cannot ask her anywhere!

You cannot ask her for her hand?

Not ‘til she knows I’m Superman.

Could you, would you, with a note?

I would not, could not with a note!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.

I will not, will not with a note.

I will not ask her in the rain.

Not in the dark! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! It’s wrong you see!

I cannot ask her with a box.

I cannot ask with diamond rocks.

I will not ask her in a house.

I cannot ask to be her spouse.

I cannot ask her here or there.

I cannot ask her anywhere!

I cannot ask her for her hand!

Until she knows I’m Superman.

You cannot ask her. So you say.

Tell her! Tell her! And you may.

Tell her and you may, I say.

Fine! If she knows all of me,

I will ask her, you will see.

[…and he tells her…]

Say! Now she knows I’m Superman!

And she still loves me as I am!

And I will ask her in a boat.

And I will ask her with a note…

And I will ask her in the rain.

And in the dark. And on a train.

And in a car. And in a tree.

And she’ll say yes, yes, yes, you see!

So I will ask her with a box.

And I will ask with diamond rocks.

And I will ask her in a house.

And I will ask to be her spouse.

And I will ask her here and there.

Say! I will ask her anywhere!

Now that she knows I’m Superman!

I can ask her for her hand.

THE END

*Story is based on Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Suess, published by Random House, 1960.

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I’m Superman