Why the Daily Planet’s Circulation Is Down

By Lynn S. M. <lois_and_clark_fan_at_verizon.net — replace _at_ with appropriate symbol>

Rated G

Submitted March 2014

Summary: A conversation at a newsstand reveals why one customer is no longer buying copies of The Daily Planet as often as he used to.

Steve and George are my creations, but the Superman universe and all other characters mentioned herein belong to DC Comics and Warner Bros, and are being borrowed for some not-for-profit fun.

***

“Morning, George. How was your girl’s recital?”

“Oh, same as all the others. The playing ranged from awful to horrendous, but the kids were cute. So what’ll it be for you today, Steve: The Planet or The Star?”

“Gimme a sec to look at the headlines…Definitely The Star.”

“That’ll be sixty cents. You seem to be getting that one more often lately. Out of curiosity, why the switch?”

“The headlines.”

“What?”

“The front page, over-the-fold headlines.”

“What about them?”

“Haven’t you noticed? Lately, it seems, The Planet just runs variations on the same headline two, maybe three, times a week: Superman Saves Lois Lane. That might have been news the first hundred times. Now it’s just boring.”

“OK. Yeah. I can see that. Forty cents is your change. See you tomorrow?”

“Yup. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.”

George made a mental note to order fewer copies of The Daily Planet in the future.

THE END

One additional credit: The “Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel” line was taken from the campy Batman television show from the 1960s, starring Adam West.

Table of Contents

Why The Daily Planets Circulation Is Down