The Quicker-Picker-Upper?

By Lara Blasingame <larab@pwpl.com> or <Lblasingame@cs.com>

Rated PG February 2000

This is just my third fanfic. I mean no copyright infringement to anyone, anywhere... at anytime. I wrote this goofy piece just for fun... and for therapeutic purposes (please see the note at the end of the story).

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Clark walked down the street with a smile on his face. He was going to spend the whole day with Lois Lane. Sure, the morning hours were going to be spent doing chores, but the couple had already planned on going out for the evening. He would utilize every opportunity to spend a little more time with his best friend. Life just couldn't get any better.

***

Lois hurried around her apartment gathering a few scattered newspapers and dispensing with her morning dishes. Clark was coming over today.

They had only been dating for a short period of time, but the thought of his arrival still managed to make her feel a little lightheaded... and just a little nervous.

Lois found herself making excuses for spending time with Clark Kent. He was coming over today to help her paint the bedroom walls. The existing paint wasn't chipped too badly, but if this would give her the chance to spend more time with her partner... then she would gladly fritter away her Saturday morning doing a meaningless task.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft rapping sound emanating from the front door. She instinctively knew who was there, and she couldn't wait to see him.

She opened the door quickly, and was not at all disappointed by the 'fine figure of a man' that she saw standing in her entryway. He was wearing some faded black jeans and a plain, white tee shirt. He was so handsome. She couldn't help but giggle out loud. "Hi Clark. Come on in."

"Hey! What's so funny?"

"Uh... nothing." Lois felt her face flush at her previous thought. "I'm just in a really good mood today."

"So am I." Clark stated as he leaned forward to give Lois a gentle kiss on the lips. The kiss lingered for a few seconds, but the moment was shattered by a loud noise coming from the hallway.

"Stupid ladder... piece of junk... I should have thrown you away years ago...." The landlord mumbled as he tried to refold the wooden menace.

Lois smiled as she peered into the corridor. "Mr. Tracewski... Are you okay?"

"Oh... Ms. Lane. I'm fine. I'm just frustrated with this 'so- called' ladder. Are you sure you really want to use it?"

"Unless Clark here can hover... we're going to need it in order to paint the top part of the wall," Lois smirked as she turned to give a teasing glance to her partner-in-crime. He had a far-away look on his face, but rebounded quickly.

Clark deftly took the ladder from the disgruntled landlord, thanked him, and closed the front door. "Finally... we're alone."

Lois saw the admiring gaze in Clark's eyes and realized that their previous kiss was still foremost in his mind. "How dare he interrupt our 'hello,'" Lois purred as she slowly walked up to Clark. "Do you think you could put that down so I can greet you properly or am I going to have to remove it by force?"

Clark took the ladder to her bedroom and quickly returned to find that Lois hadn't moved one inch from her previous spot. He approached her slowly, but deftly captured her within his embrace. They stayed that way for a short while before he kissed Lois once again.

He broke away after a few moments, "Ya know... as much as I'm enjoying this... we're not exactly getting your bedroom walls painted."

Lois grinned in response. "I guess you're right... can we continue this later... while we're waiting for the first coat of paint to dry?"

"Definitely!!!"

Lois gave Clark one final peck on the cheek and headed towards her bedroom. Clark obediently followed her lead. She picked up the paint can, placed it on the dresser, and stirred the beige concoction.

"Um... Lois? Are you going to cover the furniture before we start? This could get a little messy."

Without missing a beat, Lois stopped mixing the paint in order to look at Clark. "I thought I'd leave that chore to my big, strong reporter man." She grinned impishly and continued to speak. "The tarps are in the living room... in the corner. I didn't want us tripping over them until we absolutely had to..."

Clark loved it when Lois deliberately flirted with him... but left the room anyway. 'I've got to try to play a little hard to get,' Clark thought to himself as he made his way into the living room.

Lois poured the paint into a tray, picked up the paintbrush and climbed the ladder.

"You wouldn't, by chance, be starting without me. Would you?"

Lois turned her head towards the voice and realized that Clark was still in the living room. 'Boy... does he have me figured out... or what! But, I can't let him know that... just yet.'

Clark pulled his glasses down a bit and peered into Lois' bedroom. Sure enough, she already had perched herself on top of the unsteady ladder.

Then suddenly, Clark's world came to a grinding halt as the ladder gave way under Lois' weight. She let out a yelp and knew that an accident was inevitable.

Suddenly, Lois found herself wrapped in Clark's left arm and the paint can precariously balanced in his right hand. Not a drop of paint had spilled, and she appeared to still be in one piece.

The couple merely starred at each other once again... but not due to any underlying passion...

Recognition slowly sank in... Clark's disappearing act certainly made more sense to Lois now... His ability to always contact 'the big guy'...

"Is there anything that you'd like to discuss with me? Or do you suddenly need to return videotape to the store? Better yet... do you have to run home and check your mail? It's about time for your next cheese shipment." Her exterior was calm, yet a deluge of emotions was coursing through her body.

Clark peered back at his girlfriend, but was unable to come up with a viable excuse. 'Do I really need one... she's obviously figured it out already.' "I was kinda hoping that you'd let me finish this at super speed and maybe we could talk for a while."

Lois shrugged her shoulders and Clark took off like a shot. He finished the job-at-hand within seconds. "Lois... Are you mad?"

She looked at the hangdog expression plastered on his face and decided to take pity on him... for the moment. There were worse things in life than finding out that your boyfriend 'moonlights in tights.'

How long was he planning on carrying on the charade? Their relationship had taken a decidedly serious turn in a short period of time. They were head-over-heels in love and had even jokingly discussed a future together. Each was a little too overwhelmed with emotion (and a little scared) to admit that they weren't really joking. 'What if he had waited to reveal himself after we had decided to take 'the plunge.' I would have had to kill him.' But, fortunately, this wasn't the case... so...

"Um... no... a little confused... a little flustered. Nothing I can't handle." She steeled her shoulders but continued, "I expect a complete, detailed account of your life starting with your birth and ending with what you had for breakfast this morning."

Relief flooded throughout Clark's emotional core. He was astounded, happy, and thankful ... But what if he had waited to long to reveal his secret to Lois. What if he'd waited until he'd asked her to marry him? 'She would have killed me. That would have strained the relationship to an inordinately bad level. Glad I'm not crossing that road. Seems like all she expects is a play-by- play description of my life...' Clark's reflection ended when he heard Lois giggling. 'She's giggling?' Now that is definitely not the reaction he'd expected. "What?"

"Nothing... really." Lois continued to stifle the giggle but lost the battle. She surveyed the room, and the giggles suddenly turned into uproarious laughter. The walls had been painted, the unused paint had been returned to the can, the brushes had been rinsed out, the tarps were neatly folded... even the pillows on her bed had been fluffed.

After a few moments she was able to compose herself. "Well... one thing is for certain... you certainly are a quicker-picker- upper..."

Clark smiled unabashedly at Lois. Life just couldn't get any better than this.

The End

Author's Note: Unfortunately, I endured a 'paint incident' recently... and managed to get it all over the carpet, a fabric covered chair, and myself... I hoped that I could write this story as a form of 'therapy.' If you can't laugh at real life... than you'll get an ulcer by the time you reach adulthood :) Feedback is welcomed... please don't make me beg!

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