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By Candy_n_Ky <candy_n_ky@yahoo.com>

Rated: PG

Submitted: May 2002

*****

Clark sat in his darkened apartment head in his hands and contemplated the latest phone call from Lois. She was marrying Luthor in 3 days and she wanted her best friend there. Well that was just something he could not do. He could not endure watching the woman he loved walk down the aisle and into the arms of the man he considered a monster.

"Lois, I just can't, you know how I feel about Luthor. He's dangerous." She had simply launched into another one of her tirades about how everyone was abandoning her, and how jealous he was being . He had finally told her he had to go, ending the conversation before she could go any further.

He looked around his apartment at the boxes piled up against the walls. He had almost finished packing today and his apartment had that empty look to it, kind of like his soul he thought rubbing the stubble that had managed to take over his face in the past couple of days. Lois would be gone soon, and so would he. He couldn't bear to stay in Metropolis knowing she was there with * Him*.

As he sat down on the couch to finish counting the cracks in the ceiling there was a knock at the door. Staring intently he found the cause of the distraction, Lois. He almost let her think he wasn't home, but he had to see her at least one more time, the last time he thought despondently. He got up, and moved to open the door.

"God Clark you look awful!" Was the greeting he was met with as she swept into his apartment. "What's with the lights?" She asked reaching around him and flipping them on seemingly oblivious to his state of mind.

"Gee thanks Lois, nice to see you to." Clark closed the door and headed back to the couch where he immediately sat and waited, he knew Lois well enough to know what was coming next.

"We have to talk Clark. I just don't understand why you can't be there. If you care about me as much as you say you do you would come." She stood there her arms crossed looking down at him with that defiant look that had made him fall in love with her in the first place. At the moment Clark could take no more.

"Lois, look around, what do you see? Look at me, I haven't been out of this apartment in two days, I don't check my mail, I don't answer the phone unless it's you, I just sit here in the dark, and think about... you." Lois's eyes grew wider as she listened. "I think about what could have been, what should have been between us. When you left to go to LNN you didn't go alone Lois, you took the best part of me with you, you took my soul. With out you here with me, I'm a shadow of the man I was, a ghost, and I just can't live like that anymore."

"What are you saying Clark?" Lois asked as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"What I'm saying is if you go through with this, I won't stay. I'll move on. Maybe overseas, somewhere I can walk down the street and not be reminded of you everywhere I look."

"Clark, you can't do that! You love Metropolis, and what about Perry and Jimmy? You just can't leave them." And what about me? Came that little voice in the back of Lois's head. Clark took a deep breath and knew he had to lay all the cards, or most of them, on the table.

"I love you Lois, I always have and I can't help that you don't feel the same, but it's just too hard, I can't just be friends." He reached up and smoothed away a single teardrop that had slid down her cheek. "I want to be able to touch you like this and know that I can." His voice dropped to a husky pitch and he leaned closer, "I want to know that when I'm this close your heart beats just as hard as mine, and you find it just a little harder to breathe. I want to know that when I kiss you it feels like you've finally found that missing part of yourself, and when I'm away from you you'd do anything to get me back. That's the way I feel every time I look at you Lois. I would sacrifice everything I am and everything I have, even my life, for you."

Lois was taken aback that anyone could feel that way about her. She knew that Lex didn't. She had known that Clark had feelings for her, but nothing prepared her for this. She looked at the man in front of her and saw in his eyes the depth of his emotion. He loved her, and she knew it, had always known to some extent. This man had indeed protected her with his life before, and would do so again with no hesitation. What was she doing with Lex? Why had she pushed Clark away for so long. She had come over here tonight because she couldn't bear to lose her friend, and now she knew she wanted more. She reached up slowly and placed her hand on top of the one still caressing her face.

"How did I begin to even deserve you?" She asked through tears that began to fall in earnest.

"Oh Lois..." Was all Clark managed to get out as he pulled her to him. "I love you so much. You don't know how long I've waited for this."

"You don't have to wait anymore Clark, I love you, and I think I have for a while. So, If you want me you've got me." Clark needed no more reassurances. He leaned down and touched his lips to hers softly at first, but as he increased the pressure even he was surprised at the electricity that sparked between them. Lois's hand moved up to tangle in his hair, and pulled him even closer. Fire works were going off in his head. He felt dizzy, weak, and disoriented - and he wanted more.

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