Midnight Gambit

By: ML Thompson <thomplaw@tbaytel.net>

Rated: PG

Submitted: August 2003

* * * * * * * * *

I found this piece of fluff sitting on my hard drive. I wrote  it, minus a lot of changes, three years ago and so it should  not be construed as my attempt to come out of retirement <g>.

This story is based on the T.V. show Lois and Clark: The New  Adventures of Superman. No copyright infringement is intended.  I recognize that these characters are not mine. I am just  borrowing them for a little fun and not for any profit. For  a more complete disclaimer, go to  http://www.thompsonlawoffice.ca/Disclaimer.htm

This story takes place on the night before Lois' wedding to  Lex Luthor. I deviate from the story line from there. In my  story, however, Lex does not have Superman trapped in a  kryptonite cage in the basement of Lex Towers and the gang  has not found the evidence they need to prove that Lex  Luthor was behind the explosion at the Planet. Oh. One  more thing. In my story, Lois has a much more comfortable  couch <g>.

My thanks to Gerry, Carol and Irene for their assistance  and contributions to this story. Their help, ideas,  suggestions and criticisms were greatly appreciated. And  my thanks to Sarah Murray for editing this story for  the archives.

* * * * * * * * * MIDNIGHT GAMBIT By: ML Thompson <thomplaw@tbaytel.net> August 2003 * * * * * * * * *

Part 01

"I'm sorry, son," said Perry to a very dejected Clark Kent.

"It's not your fault, Perry. Luthor's good at covering his  tracks. It was a long shot thinking we could find the evidence  we need to bring him down before the wedding. I knew that. I  guess I just hoped..." Clark quickly cleared his throat when  his voice broke on the last word.

Perry watched with concern. He was worried about Lois marrying  Luthor, certainly. But his current consideration was whether  Clark would survive Lois' marriage. What had kept Clark going  for the past few weeks was searching for the evidence they  needed on Luthor. Now that they had failed, Perry was more than  a little frightened about how Clark would react.

"Hey, C.K., there are lots of fish in the sea..." Jimmy began,  but trailed off at the look of warning in Perry's eyes.

Clark gave a humorless chuckle. "I know, Jimmy. The problem is  there's only one I want, only one I've ever wanted." He gave  Jimmy what was meant to be a friendly slap on the back, but he  nearly knocked the breath out of the kid. "Sorry," muttered  Clark. "I guess I just need some time alone. I'll talk to you  guys later." With that Clark grabbed his jacket and headed for  the door.

"Do you think he'll be all right?" asked Jack once Clark was  gone.

Perry looked thoughtful for a minute. "If Lois goes through  with the wedding tomorrow, I'm really not sure. I hope I'm  wrong but..." he shrugged his shoulders.

When Clark had first come to work for the Planet, Perry had had  such high hopes for those two. Whereas other reporters were put  off by Lois' abrupt style, Clark seemed to thrive on it. In  Perry's mind, it was a match made in heaven - and not just as a  reporting team. Clark was exactly the type of man Lois needed.  And Perry had thought Lois was starting to realize that, too.  Well, until the day she had accepted Luthor's proposal. Now...  How Clark would react to losing Lois was anyone's guess.

* * * * * * * * *

Clark took to the air the instant he left his apartment. He  heard alarms and cries for help, but they went unheeded.  Finally, torn apart by the sounds, he flew into the outer  atmosphere where the hubbub of the city was more distant. He  had to think and could hardly do so over the beating of his own  heart, let alone the racket of the city.

Clark wished he could get lost in his Superman activities - the  way he normally did. But he also realized that it was dangerous  for him to answer any cries for help in his current state. He  knew he wasn't in control at the moment. The stress of the past  few weeks - ever since Lois had accepted Luthor's proposal -  combined with the lack of sleep he'd had as he'd searched for  the evidence against Luthor had definitely taken its toll on  him. And now, tonight, having to admit defeat, had pushed him  frighteningly close to the edge of sanity. His usual solution  for these times was a trip to see Lois, but now... Lois was the  problem.

Lois was marrying Lex Luthor at eleven o'clock tomorrow morning  and there was nothing Clark could do to stop it. Actually, that  wasn't exactly true. There was one thing he could do. He could  go to her as Superman. The problem was that there was no future  in that. But at this point, he was almost beyond caring. It  would be hard enough living without Lois if he knew she would  be happy with someone else. But Clark knew Luthor. He knew it  was only a matter of time before Luthor hurt Lois. How could he  stand by and allow that to happen?

It was past midnight before Clark made a decision. He could no  longer tell if it was the right thing to do, but he couldn't  seem to do otherwise. He wasn't exactly sure what he was going  to say, and even less sure that this would work, but if he  didn't at least try, how could he live with himself?

* * * * * * * * *

Lex had dropped Lois off after dinner and a play, telling her  he wanted her to get to bed early, making an almost playful -  assuming that Lex knew how to be playful - comment about having  plans that would keep her awake late tomorrow night. But she  couldn't sleep. She lay in bed staring at the ceiling. When she  realized she wasn't sleeping, she got up and began wandering  around the apartment. She even tried watching television, but  there was nothing on.

Lex had insisted that he wanted to take her entire family out  for dinner and a play before the big day. Lois had been  nervous. Putting her mother and father in the same room was  roughly the equivalent of mixing gasoline and matches - sooner  or later there was bound to be an explosion.

But she need not have worried on that front. Her father,  predictably, had been right in the middle of some amazing new  breakthrough in his research and couldn't get away - although  he had told her that he would try to make it to her wedding  tomorrow. Lucy hadn't come in from California. Lois wasn't  entirely certain why - something to do with the new man in her  life.

That had left Lois' mother. Still, even if her mother and  father wouldn't be in the same room, Lois had been more than a  little apprehensive about introducing Lex to Ellen Lane. But  she need not have worried about that either. Lex had won over  Ellen Lane the instant he kissed her hand in greeting. Lois had  watched her mother fawn over her future husband all night,  telling him on several occasions how fortunate Lois was to have  found someone like him. And Lex had been his ever charming  self.

As a result, Lois should have been pleased with the way the  evening had gone. And she was - provided one defined 'pleased'  as 'relieved that it hadn't been a federal disaster.' The  problem was that throughout both dinner and the play, Lois kept  thinking about Clark. Clark of all people!

Even now, although she knew she should be thinking about Lex,  her mind kept drifting back to Clark. "I have been in love with  you for a long time. You had to have known." Clark's words from  only a few weeks ago kept replaying in her head. It had come as  a surprise, but then it wasn't a surprise either. There were  just too many times when that statement had been confirmed. He  was her best friend. She liked him, admired him, trusted him.  She enjoyed the time they spent together. She even enjoyed the  pain he could be when he edited her copy or he teased her...  but love him in that way? She hadn't thought she did.

But the past few weeks had given her pause. She had barely  talked to Clark since the day he told her he loved her and  every time she had, things were strained, if not downright  hostile, between them. "I realized that there was really only  one thing that I didn't want to live without and that was you,"  Clark had told her. The problem was she felt the same way. The  past few weeks, a time that should have been the happiest in  her life, had been a living hell. She had lost her best friend.  Lois buried her head in her hands. How could she go on without  Clark?

But could she love Clark the way he loved her? Since he had  told her about his feelings, she had asked herself the question  a thousand times. She knew she loved him. What she didn't know  was if she could love him the way he wanted. And she knew that  she couldn't fake a relationship with Clark. She couldn't fake  it just to get her best friend back. Besides, even if she  could, she would never do that to him. He deserved so much  better.

She thought about her upcoming nuptials. The engagement had  been short. She kept wondering if she was rushing this to  prevent herself from thinking about it. How could she marry  Lex? Even without these new questions about Clark, she still  had so many unresolved feelings for Superman even though he had  made it quite clear that there was no future for them. So she  had accepted Lex's proposal. She found herself wondering now if  it was a knee-jerk reaction. Was she marrying Lex because she  couldn't have Superman?

"And what about Luthor? Do you love him?" Clark's words from  that same conversation came back to her. She admired him,  respected him, yes. But love Lex? If she were really honest  with herself, she had to admit that she didn't know him well  enough to love him. She did know she didn't get weak in the  knees, the way she did when Superman entered a room, and she  didn't feel safe confiding her deepest feelings to him, the way  she did with Clark. But what was love anyway? That, she didn't  know.

And then there had been the kiss tonight when Lex had dropped  her off at her apartment. He was, admittedly, a great kisser.  But the kiss had left her feeling vaguely... unsettled. But  maybe she was just a little nervous about tomorrow night. After  all, they had decided to wait until they were married to be  intimate. And it had been a long time since she'd been with a  man.

Maybe this was just cold feet. She'd heard about cold feet  often enough. She had to talk to someone and only one person  came to mind. The problem was that he wasn't exactly objective  about this. But she had to try. Maybe she could convince him to  at least listen while she tried to talk this through. Maybe she  wanted him to talk her out of it.

She picked up the phone. It was late, but she doubted he would  be asleep. She dialed the familiar number. Her heart began  pounding as she waited for Clark to pick up.

"Hello," said a sleepy voice that was obviously not Clark. When  she didn't respond, the voice said again, "Hello?"

* * * * * * * * *

Perry woke from sleep to the incessant ringing of the phone. It  took him a moment to orient himself in the unfamiliar  surroundings of Clark's apartment.

"Hello," he finally said into the phone. When there was no  answer, he repeated the greeting.

"Perry? Is that you?"

Perry recognized Lois' voice immediately. "Yeah, honey, it's  me," he responded, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"What are you doing at Clark's? I thought you were off enjoying  your retirement. Oh right. Clark said something about you  coming to town. How long are you here for?"

"I'm just in town for a few days and Clark said I could bunk  with him."

Lois was silent for a moment, so Perry continued. "I suppose  you want to talk to Clark."

"Yes," said Lois in a small voice.

"I don't think he's home. He left a few hours ago. Let me see  if he came in." Placing the phone down, he stuck his head into  the living room to ask Jack and Jimmy if Clark had returned -  although Perry doubted that he had.

"Who else is there?" Lois asked when Perry came back on the  line. Obviously, she had heard voices.

"Jimmy and..."

"And?"

"Do you remember the time that you hid a convicted murderer out  in your apartment?" Perry asked.

"Of course, but what... Jack's there?"

"I'm not confirming that," Perry said with a chuckle.

"I heard he escaped." There was an awkward pause. "Is Clark  there?" Lois asked again.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. No, he's not."

There was a long pause before Lois spoke again. "Is he going to  be okay, Perry?" she finally asked.

"Sure. Why wouldn't he be? After all, he's had a year to learn  how to deal with your rejection," Perry said sarcastically.

There was dead silence.

"I'm sorry, honey," Perry said, immediately furious with  himself for turning his fears for Clark into anger at Lois. "I  didn't mean that. I guess I'm just sort of worried about him. I  know this isn't your fault. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Any idea where he is?"

"I imagine he is out somewhere getting as drunk as possible. At  least, that's what I'd be doing in his position," Perry  responded. He had actually figured, when the phone rang, that  it was the police saying they had Clark in custody for getting  drunk and beating the living daylights out of some guy who bore  a striking resemblance to Lex Luthor - well, at least had the  same color hair as Luthor.

"Thanks, Perry."

"Are you okay?" Perry asked, suddenly concerned.

"I'm fine. I just needed to talk to my best friend."

"Sorry, honey. I wish I could help. But I don't know if he's  even planning to come home tonight."

* * * * * * * * *

Lois was painfully sober when she hung up the phone. Never  before had Perry sounded so upset with her, not even when she  had given up on the boxing story. Clark must be in worse shape  than she thought. But what was she supposed to do about that?  She had warned him right at the start not to fall for her. Was  it her fault that he had?

'Damn you, Clark Kent,' she thought to herself. 'Why did you  have to fall in love with me?' What was she going to do without  him in her life? Why couldn't he just want to be her best  friend? But he had crossed that line and now, as much as she  might wish it, they couldn't go back. What happened next was in  her hands. Either she had to be prepared to step over that line  with him or accept that he might cease to be part of her life.

She smiled slightly as she thought about the past year.  Although she was fuzzy about the time that she had been under  the influence of the pheromone compound, she could clearly  remember the look on Clark's face when he looked at her leg as  she sat on his desk. She remembered how safe she felt being  held by Clark when she was almost killed by Mr. Makeup. She  even remembered the look in his eyes after they hugged for the  very first time. She swallowed hard. Could she really live  without those things? And if he hadn't loved her, would she  have had them in the first place?

Just then, Lois heard a tentative knock at the window. She  instantly knew who was there. Who else knocked at her window?  She had a moment's hesitation about answering it. After all,  the last time they had spoken, he had been cold, even hurtful.  But after a long moment, she walked over to the window and,  once she had pulled her robe tighter around her, opened it. The  familiar demigod in a cape floated through and into her  apartment.

"Hi," Superman said. Lois was taken back by the sheepish way he  said it. "I suppose you're wondering why I'm here on the night  before your wedding."

"I guess you could say that," responded Lois coolly. "I think  you made your feelings perfectly clear the last time you were  here."

Superman gave a humorless laugh. "Yeah, well, I'm not so sure  about that. But anyway, I have something I need to say to you  before you marry Luthor."

When Lois didn't respond, Superman took a deep breath and  continued.

"Okay. I guess the place to begin is with your comment that you  would love me if I were just an ordinary man."

"I would, Superman."

"That's just it, Lois. When you look at this outfit what you  see is Superman. But that's not who I really am. 'Superman' is  a fabrication - a two-dimensional character with no faults, no  insecurities. But the truth is that I am as fallible as  everyone else on the planet. You don't seem to understand that.  I guess the fact that I try to cover up that side of me as  Superman doesn't help. You're in love with someone who doesn't  really exist."

"That's not..." Lois began, but fell silent when Superman  raised his hand.

"The problem is that I've never been able to get you to see  beyond the outfit and, believe me, it does come off, both  figuratively and literally."

Lois blushed and looked down. He had obviously overheard her  comments the day she had gone over to cook him and Clark  supper.

"So here's my dilemma. Do I let you marry someone else -  someone who I believe to be one of the biggest criminals on the  eastern seaboard..."

Lois opened her mouth to respond, but Superman pre-empted her  by anticipating her question.

"And, before you ask, no. I don't have any proof that Luthor is  anything other than the philanthropist he portrays himself to  be. But the point is, do I let you marry Luthor, or do I tell  you that Superman, this two-dimensional fabrication who you  seem to think walks on water, loves you?"

Lois was speechless. What exactly was he saying? Was that an  admission of love or not?

"Lois, if you really knew me, you wouldn't love me," Superman  continued.

"How can you say that? I told you before that..."

"Because you've met me when I wasn't wearing the suit, Lois."

Lois' mind was going at full speed now. She had met Superman  when he was dressed as an ordinary man and, knowing her, she  had brushed him off. No wonder he'd been so hurt when she  claimed she would love him as an ordinary man.

"Then maybe you need to tell me who you really are," Lois said  cautiously.

Superman shook his head. "I can't do that either, because if  you do marry Luthor, I would be giving information that could  hurt a lot of people I care about to the wife of a man who  would love nothing more than to destroy me and everyone around  me. I trust you, but it wouldn't be fair to put you in that  position. Besides, if Luthor ever found out that you knew..."  He didn't finish his thought, almost as if couldn't quite bring  himself to think about what Luthor would do to her to get that  information, much less put it into words.

Lois' head was spinning. Superman was out there masquerading as  an ordinary guy. No, that wasn't right. From what he was  telling her, he was an ordinary guy who was masquerading as  Superman. He had told her that 'Superman' didn't really exist.  But still, this must be some extraordinary guy to take on this  kind of responsibility and to do it as well as he did. No,  regardless of what he was claiming, he was no ordinary guy.

"So why are you telling me this?" Lois finally asked.

"The way I see it, you have a number of choices and I will  abide by whatever decision you make. But before you hear them  and consider them, I want to be clear about one thing. I do  love you, Lois Lane. I always have and I always will."

Lois was stunned. Superman loved her. She shook her head  slightly, trying to get her mind back on track. Choices... He  said something about choices.

"So what are the choices?" she finally asked.

Superman nodded. "You tell me to get lost and marry Luthor."

"Next."

"You call off your wedding to Luthor and we start a  relationship in which I try to be the Superman you seem to  want. It would kill me never being able to share with you who I  really am, but if it will keep you from marrying Luthor..." He  shrugged.

"Or?" she prompted, knowing that he had left out an obvious  option.

"You call off your wedding to Luthor and I tell you everything.  You make your decision from there. But I'm warning you that you  may not end up getting what you expect."

"So then, you're asking me to call off my wedding on spec and  you're warning me that the odds aren't good."

"I guess that's what I'm saying."

Lois looked at him seriously. "Why now? Why are you presenting  these options to me now, on the night before my wedding?"

"I kept hoping I could find a way to change your mind that  wouldn't involve any of the above choices. Then maybe in  time..." He shrugged. "But tonight I realized what would happen  if I simply let you marry Luthor. This is probably a little  drastic, but it would destroy me to see you married to Luthor."

"Destroy you? Superman, nothing can destroy you."

"Actually, two things can."

She looked at him curiously.

"One is kryptonite."

"The rock Jason Trask claimed could kill you?"

"That's the one."

"And the other."

Superman looked deeply into her eyes. "You," he said softly.

Lois felt her breath catch in her throat. "You're not playing  fair here, Superman."

"I know." Superman whispered, looking down. "I..." His voice  trailed off as if he was suddenly ashamed of his actions but  was still unable to back away from doing them.

And for the first time, Lois saw the god with the feet of clay.  She quickly shook off the thought.

"I guess all really is fair in love and war," Lois said after a  long moment.

"I don't necessarily think that's true. But right now, I don't  really care," Superman responded, finally looking up to meet  her eyes - and she noticed for the first time that he looked  almost haunted.

"Can I think about it?" A few weeks ago there would have been  nothing to think about. And Lois was surprised to realize that  it was thoughts of Clark rather than Lex that were causing her  to hesitate.

Superman raised his eyebrows.

"Don't worry. I'll let you know in the morning. Before the  wedding..." she added to his continued look. "My mom is  supposed to be coming here at eight so if you could come by at  about seven thirty."

"I'll be here," Superman promised. "Just don't tell the  criminal element of Metropolis about this."

She chuckled. "I won't. After all, the criminal element of  Metropolis and I don't get along well," Lois said, pleased when  she provoked a genuine smile out of the Man of Steel.

Lois walked him to the window and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"I do love you, you know," she whispered.

Superman let out a short breath, his previous smile vanishing.  "I wish that were true," he responded. With that he flew out  the window.

Lois stared into the sky after him, wondering why his  declaration of love was not nearly as intoxicating as she had  always believed it would be.

* * * * * * * * *

Part 02

Clark flew out over the ocean, rolled over onto his back and  stared out at the distant stars. He knew he was not being fair  to Lois on a number of different levels. First, with her  curiosity, how could she resist discovering the identity of the  man behind the costume? Second, he was making her feel  responsible for the well being of Superman when he knew that  his emotions were not her problem. Third, he knew that offering  to love her as Superman was a dead end street. He knew it  wasn't fair to offer her something that wasn't real.

But Clark had never been so scared and his feelings of  desperation were making it hard for him to think in terms of  what was fair. Every ounce of his being screamed at him that  marrying Luthor was the worst mistake Lois could ever make. But  there was another part of him that wasn't sure how much of what  he'd done was because of his own fears of losing Lois.

Unable to enjoy the serenity of his current environment, Clark  headed back towards his apartment. He doubted he was going to  be able to sleep, but he might as well be there as anywhere.

Clark spotted Jack sitting on the balcony of his apartment long  before he arrived. So he landed in a nearby alley and spun out  of the suit. He entered the apartment, quietly made his way to  the balcony and took a seat on a deck chair beside Jack.

"What are you doing out here?" Clark asked.

"If we aren't able to prove Luthor is responsible for bombing  the Planet, I might not see stars for a long time. I guess I  just figured..." Jack shrugged. "You?"

"I just don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"Yeah. Tomorrow's the big day, isn't it?"

Clark let out a short breath.

"I don't get it," Jack finally said. "Why don't you just go to  her as Superman? Everyone knows she's in love with Superman. I  mean, she's been kinda obvious about it."

Clark looked over at his young friend. He had suspected Jack  knew his secret since the day the Daily Planet had been taken  over by terrorists. However, he had never made direct reference  to it again. Clark knew that he should deny Jack's claim,  demand to know what Jack was talking about, but he just didn't  have the strength left.

"I did tonight," he said softly.

"What?"

Clark shrugged.

"And she turned you down?" Jack asked in disbelief.

"Not exactly. I sort of told her that there was another side to  me that she may not like. But, unless she called off her  wedding to Luthor, I couldn't share it with her."

"Why?"

"Jack, if Luthor ever found out that she knew who I am, what do  you think would happen?"

"He'd do whatever it took to get that information from her."

"Exactly."

"So what's she going to do?"

"She's going to think about it."

They sat in silence for a long time.

"Oh, I almost forgot, Lois phoned earlier. She was looking for  you."

"For Clark?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"I don't know. A couple of hours ago."

That would have been before their talk. Well, he knew she  wouldn't be asleep, so he decided to call back. He went into  the apartment, brought his cordless phone outside and punched  in the well-known number.

* * * * * * * * *

Lois was getting nowhere trying to think things through.  Between her earlier thoughts about Clark and now the admission  by Superman that he loved her, she felt completely overwhelmed.  On top of that, there was Superman's comment that he had  another identity - and that they had met while he had been in  that guise. But when? And where? And how could she possibly not  have recognized that amazing physique?

There was something almost troubling about the idea that  Superman had another life as an ordinary man. And what made it  even more troubling was his comment that she had met his non- Superman persona - and hadn't liked him. What if that were  true? What if he was actually someone like - god forbid -  Ralph? Maybe his superpowers allowed him to look different in  the suit. She shuddered. Could she love Superman if he were  actually Ralph?

She shook her head violently. Now she was being ridiculous.  Superman couldn't possibly be Ralph. But still, the point  remained that he might be right. She might not like, even if  she was certain she would still admire, the man behind the  costume.

She was so lost in thought that the sudden ringing of the phone  startled her. As she scrambled to grab it, she found herself  hoping it wasn't Lex. The last thing she needed right now was  to talk to him - not while her thoughts and feelings were in  such turmoil.

"Clark," Lois gasped when she heard his voice on the other end  of the line. "Why are you calling? I mean, I'm glad you called.  I really am. I just... Well, I guess I didn't expect to hear  from you considering..."

"I heard that you called me," came Clark's subdued voice. "So  what did you want?"

"I called because I need to talk to you. Can you come over?"  she asked, before a new thought suddenly struck her. "Oh, wait.  I can't talk to you now. It wouldn't be fair to... Anyway, I  guess there is nothing you can do. I'll have to find a way to  work through this on my own." She was silent for a moment. "How  are you?" she asked very softly. "Perry said he thought you  were out somewhere getting drunk."

"No, unfortunately, I'm stone cold sober," said Clark, somewhat  surprising her.

"Actually, come to think of it, I've never seen you drunk," she  said thoughtfully. "Maybe you should come over and we could do  that together. My last night of freedom and all that."

* * * * * * * * *

Lois' last comment felt like a punch to Clark's gut. Lois  wasn't much of a drinker. She didn't relinquish control to  anyone or anything. If she was talking about getting drunk and  losing control...

"Are you sure you don't want me to help you work through  whatever's on your mind?" he asked.

"I wish you could. I really need to talk to someone, but it  would mean betraying someone else's confidence so..."

Clark hesitated. She needed her best friend and he wasn't sure  he would ever be able to deny her what she wanted. "Would it  help to know that Superman told me he was coming to see you  tonight and basically what he planned to say?"

Lois let out a relieved gasp. "Yes. Can you come over?"

"I'll be right there."

Clark hung up the phone and looked over at Jack who was shaking  his head.

"What?" demanded Clark.

"You sure have a bizarre life."

"Tell me about it."

"First, you go over and offer yourself to her as Superman, and  now you're going back there as Clark to help her decide what to  do. What are you going to tell her to do?"

"Nothing. Look, Jack, I'm going to do my best to let her make  her own decision."

"Can you do that?"

Clark smiled sadly. "I have to. If I force her into something,  and then tell her who I am, what chance will I stand then?"

Jack looked thoughtful and nodded. "Good luck."

"Thanks, Jack."

* * * * * * * * *

Lois let out a breath of relief when she hung up the phone.  Clark was coming. Everything was going to be all right. They  would talk this through, like they always did. And she'd figure  out what to do.

She sat down on the couch, putting her feet up on the coffee  table. She glanced down at her legs, which could be seen  between the folds of her robe, and noticed the old pair of  sweat pants she'd chosen to wear to bed tonight.

Suddenly, she sprang from the couch. She couldn't wear this  outfit. Clark was coming over. Making a mad dash for her  bedroom, she began frantically searching through her closet.  What was a woman supposed to wear when a man who is in love  with her is coming over in the middle of the night to help her  figure out which of two other men she might want to be with?  She suddenly stopped. Why should she limit her consideration to  two men? After her thoughts earlier, why not consider Clark,  too? Or maybe she shouldn't be considering any of them.

She suddenly growled. This was getting more complicated by the  minute. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind in order  to continue on her scrambled search for the appropriate outfit.  Dressy? No. Obviously not. Casual. Yes. It was the middle of  the night, after all. She grabbed some leggings and an old  sweatshirt. Pulling on her chosen clothing, she looked at  herself in the mirror.

She gasped. She couldn't wear this. The leggings were good -  comfortable, but showing off her legs to perfection. But she  couldn't wear this ratty, old sweatshirt. She pulled off the  shirt while at the same time continuing to rife through her  closet until she found a better sweatshirt - one of Clark's  University of Kansas shirts. Perfect.

Once she had it on, she looked at herself in the mirror. She  let out her breath, realizing what a mess her hair was. She  dashed for the washroom. Running a brush though her hair led to  brushing her teeth.

She figured she had a total of fifteen minutes before Clark  arrived. It briefly occurred to her to wonder why this was so  important all of a sudden. But she pushed the thought out of  her mind as quickly as it had come. She just wanted to look  presentable. There was nothing wrong with that.

* * * * * * * * *

Clark kept checking his watch. He had to wait long enough to  have walked over to Lois' apartment before going in. But he  didn't want to wait one minute beyond that. After all, he was  painfully aware that time was running out for them and he  resented every second he was losing pretending to be just  Clark.

Lois had the door open the second he knocked. Clark did a quick  double take when he recognized the oversized sweatshirt Lois  was wearing. But he quickly dismissed any underlying meaning to  her choice of clothing. She'd probably just thrown it on  tonight because it was comfortable and had no idea how sexy he  thought she looked in his clothing.

They stood in absolute silence in the doorway. Clark found  himself somewhat speechless. The last time he'd seen Lois as  Clark had ended badly - as had every time they'd seen each  other since Lois had accepted Luthor's proposal. He sought for  something to say that would break through the unusual tension  between them. But it was Lois who found her voice first.

"Thank you for coming, Clark," she said, not quite meeting his  eyes. "I know this can't be easy for you."

"It's okay, Lois," he responded, stepping inside so that she  could close the door.

There was another moment of silence before Lois spoke again.

"This is a little awkward, isn't it?"

"Who'd have thought we could ever feel uncomfortable with each  other," Clark responded.

"I know." Then Lois let out a breath and said in a very small  voice, "Could I have a hug?"

Clark had her in his arms almost immediately, pulling her  closer than he probably should have, but he knew this might  well be the last time he ever got to hold her. The small  whimper she gave as she burrowed her face against his throat  caused a tidal wave of emotions to surge over his body. When he  finally released her, Clark noticed the blush in her cheeks, as  if she had enjoyed being in his arms as much as he had enjoyed  having her there. Still, the hug seemed to have dispelled the  tension in the room.

"So..." she began slowly. "You said you spoke to Superman?"

"Umm... yes," said Clark, struggling to get his mind back on  track.

"What exactly did he tell you?"

Clark paused. He hoped this would be the last night he would  ever have to talk to her about himself in the third person. "He  said that he was going to tell you he wasn't really 'Superman,'  that he had another identity, but as long as there was a chance  of you marrying Luthor, he couldn't tell you who he was."

"Did he tell you he loves me?"

"I've always known that, Lois."

"And you kept it from me?" she asked, giving Clark's arm a  playful swat.

Clark just shook his head.

"So tell me, how I can help?" Clark asked.

"Right. Well, Superman said there are three options. I can  marry Lex. I can break off my engagement and have 'Superman' or  I can break off my engagement, have Superman tell me who he  really is and then decide whether to get involved with him."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Well, I must admit it is tempting to have him love me as  'Superman.'"

"Really?"

Lois bit her lip and looked down. "But I think that's just my  hormones talking. It really doesn't make a long-term  relationship possible. At least not one with any real meaning.  Besides, it would drive me nuts not knowing."

"Okay, then that leaves two."

"Not exactly. I've thought of a couple other options since  Superman left."

"What are they?"

They walked over to the sofa and sat down before Lois  continued. "I can call off my wedding and take the time I need  to figure out what I really want."

"That might be a wise decision."

"Maybe, but what if I decide that I really do want to marry  Lex?"

"Lex'll wait."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I couldn't possibly be lucky enough to have him just  go away," Clark responded.

She reached over, gently took his hand and started playing with  it.

"So what's the other option?" Clark asked, swallowing hard as  her fingers ran lightly over the back of his hand. When she  didn't respond, he asked, "Lois?"

"I could always just run away with you," she stated softly.

His heart almost stopped beating. He must have misheard her.

"Excuse me."

She looked at him, meeting his eyes only briefly before looking  down to stare at their entwined hands. It felt as if an  eternity passed before she spoke again.

"Clark, I... I've been thinking about what you told me a few  weeks ago in the park. I've been thinking about it a lot. I  don't know why I didn't realize sooner that you love me. After  all, it all makes sense when I think about it." She paused.  "Actually, that's not completely true. I do know why I didn't  realize it sooner. Clark, you're the best friend I've ever had.  I wasn't prepared to even think about you in those terms  because I was afraid to risk our friendship. The last couple of  weeks have shown me that I could lose it by not taking a chance  on something more."

"Lois, you couldn't lose..."

"I could, Clark. Are you honestly trying to tell me that if I  marry Lex, you would still be my best friend?"

Clark took a long time before answering. "Lois, I'll always be  there for you if you ever need me, no matter what you decide to  do with Luthor." That was true as far as it went, but he  wouldn't lie to her about this. "But Lois, I'm just not sure  that... I just don't know if my heart could stand being around  you constantly, knowing that you're with..." He took a jagged  breath. "I'm sorry, Lois."

"It's okay, Clark. I understand. I hate it, but I do  understand." She paused briefly. "But that does bring up  another important point. Before I even consider the possibility  of getting involved with Superman, there's something I need to  know."

"What?"

She chewed on her lip before responding. "I guess I need to  know... I mean, if I do get involved with Superman, will you  and I still be friends? I know you don't like Lex, so I  wondered..." Her voice trailed off.

Clark was completely caught off guard by the question. He was  Superman. So how was he supposed to answer? If he said 'yes,'  wasn't he encouraging her to choose Superman, thinking that  she'd still have Clark on the side - which, of course, wasn't  possible if he told her who he was. On the other hand, if he  said 'no,' wasn't he giving credibility to the idea that his  claims about Luthor were nothing more than jealousy induced  rants. It took him a moment to find a response.

"Lois, if I truly believed that Lex was an upstanding guy, and  if I thought you really loved each other, I'd support your  marriage. I'd hate it, but I would support it. At least, I'd  certainly try."

"Thank you, Clark," she said softly, giving his hand a squeeze.

Clark let out a breath of relief at having successfully side- stepped that particular minefield. But this was going to be a  lot tougher than he had originally thought.

They began discussing the options. She talked about her  concerns that she didn't really know Luthor. She went on to  undermine that thought by wondering if she was just having cold  feet. She talked about her concerns that involvement with  Superman would mean having to share him with the rest of the  world. Her comments were so articulately expressed that Clark  knew immediately that this wasn't the first time she'd  contemplated this problem. And she talked about her fears of  what getting involved with Clark might do to their friendship.  After all, all of her previous relationships had been federal  disasters. Whenever she brought up the possibility of a  relationship between them, Clark was very careful not to push  her - to try to understand her concerns and to alleviate her  fears, but not to give his opinion about what she should do.

"Clark, are you having second thoughts about starting something  with me?" she finally asked.

He gasped. "No. Absolutely not. How could you think that?"

"It's just... well, when I try to talk to you about us, you  seem... I don't know, noncommittal, I guess."

"Lois, I just think that I am a little too biased to give an  opinion about what you should do. But I'm hoping with all my  heart that you choose me."

She reached over and stroked his cheek.

"That's one of the things I love about you," she said softly.  "I love your honesty."

Clark flinched, and the confused look that flashed immediately  in Lois' eyes told him that she had noticed.

"Clark?" she asked.

"It's just... I'm not feeling very honest right now."

"Does this have something to do with Superman?"

He looked at her in shock.

"I knew it. You know who Superman is, don't you?"

He looked down. He wanted so badly just to tell her, but if  there was any possibility of her marrying Luthor, he knew he  couldn't. No matter the agony of keeping this from her,  especially now, he would not risk her safety.

"You know better than to ask me that question," he said softly.

"I knew it. That's why you can always get in touch with  Superman, isn't it? Clark, please you have to tell me who it  is. At least, tell me he isn't Ralph."

"Lo-is."

"Come on, Clark."

"I can't tell you, Lois." He refused to say that it wasn't his  secret to tell. Instead, he went to the real reason he couldn't  tell her. "If you do decide to marry Luthor..."

"I still don't know what I'm going to do. But I do know what  I'm not going to do. I'm not going to marry Lex tomorrow."

Clark looked at her hopefully. "Are you sure, Lois?" Clark  asked, fighting to keep the tremor out of his voice and  realizing he was failing miserably.

"I'm sure," she seemed to rush to reassure him. "I think I've  been looking for a way out for the past week. I doubt I would  have married Lex even if Superman hadn't come by tonight.  Now... I know I can't marry Lex considering how mixed up my  feelings are."

"Then what are we talking about this for?"

"Well, that still leaves three options. Taking the time to  figure out what I want. Choosing Superman with his real  identity known. After all, it would drive me crazy not knowing.  Or I could see what might happen with us. So that leaves three  options."

"I can cut the number down to two," Clark said nervously. There  had never been a more perfect opening for telling her this.

"How?" she asked.

Clark took a deep breath. His heart was racing. "I'm..." his  voice trailed off. He turned toward her and took her hands in  his. He didn't look at her. He looked instead at their joined  hands. "I'm..." he tried again. He grimaced and closed his eyes  in an effort to find the courage to say what needed to be said.  Only a moment ago, it had taken everything he had to keep from  telling her about Superman. Now... now, he couldn't seem to say  the words.

* * * * * * * * *

Part 03

"Clark?" Lois asked. She wasn't sure what he was going to say,  just that he was having problems telling her. How was he going  to cut the choices down to two?

Clark released her hands and got up, standing with his back to  her. She felt confused as he ran his hands through his hair,  quite obviously struggling very deeply with something. Slowly,  she rose from the couch and made her way behind him. Almost  tentatively, she placed a hand on his back and felt him tremble  under her fingers. He had told her earlier that he hoped with  all his heart that she would choose him. But how else could he  reduce the choices? Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes  and forced herself to ask the question - the one to which she  was suddenly terrified to hear the answer.

"Are you trying to take yourself out of the running?" she asked  softly.

He immediately spun around to face her. "No!" The answer was so  definite and so immediate that she knew that was not the right  answer. So what else could it be?

"Clark, talk to me," she begged.

"I don't..." There was a long period of silence.

"Can you at least tell me why this is so hard for you?" Lois  finally asked.

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"That you'll never forgive me," he said, looking at his hands.

Now she was really floored. What did he think was so bad that  she would never forgive him? What did that have to do with  reducing the options? Did he think that whatever he had to tell  her was so bad that she wouldn't want to get involved with him?  That had to be it. The problem was that Lois didn't think there  was anything Clark could have done that would be that bad.

"Clark, come here," Lois said, leading him back to the couch.  She waited until he was again seated next to her before  continuing. "I can't imagine there is anything I couldn't  forgive you. Now, I can't promise that whatever you have to  tell me won't make me mad, but I don't want to lose your  friendship. That's one of the big reasons I can't marry Lex. Do  you think that I'm going to turn around and just give it up  because I don't like something you have to tell me?"

She looked at Clark. He still looked almost as if he were in  pain. "Okay, why don't we just leave it for a while," Lois  finally said. "I mean it's almost four o'clock in the morning.  I'm exhausted and I'm sure you are too. Since I'm not getting  married tomorrow, I guess there is no real rush to sort this  all out. What do you say we take a break?"

Clark nodded.

"Superman's going to be here at seven-thirty," Lois said. "I  probably won't be able to make any decisions 'til I hear what  he has to say anyway."

She had to admit, her curiosity about what Clark was trying to  tell her was driving her crazy. And she found herself almost  shocked that she wasn't forcing the issue. But there was  something... Something about the pain Clark seemed to be in  that prevented her from going in for the kill - making him tell  her. She simply did not have the heart to push him. His eyes  looked almost haunted - sort of reminding her of the haunted  look she'd seen in Superman's eyes earlier.

"Okay," Clark said, sounding relieved at the unexpected  respite. She gave him a soft smile and gently squeezed his  hand, before releasing it, rising from the couch and beginning  to back away.

"I don't know about you," she said as she backed slowly towards  the kitchen, "but I could use something to eat. Preferably  something chocolate. I'll check the freezer. I think I might  have some chocolate ice cream in there." He smiled and she felt  an unexpected flutter in her chest. She quickly turned away  from him, making her way into the kitchen as she struggled with  what had just happened. Why had she never before noticed what a  gorgeous smile Clark had?

Not that she hadn't noticed how good he looked when he'd walked  into her apartment wearing black jeans and a black shirt. But  she had thought the reason he'd looked so good to her was  because she'd missed her friend so much over the past few  weeks. As a result, she hadn't expected her reaction to his  smile - something she hadn't seen on Clark's face for far too  long. She took a deep breath before opening the freezer,  allowing the cold air to cool down her suddenly rampaging  hormones.

"Good news," Lois called from the kitchen. "I have chocolate  ice-cream." She put some coffee in the coffee maker and took  out the ice cream and a couple of spoons. She started to pull  out bowls before changing her mind. This was Clark, after all.  He wouldn't be offended with eating out of the carton. She  almost snorted in amusement as she contemplated Lex's reaction  if she tried to serve him ice cream from the carton. She could  still remember her embarrassment when he had caught her doing  it.

When Lois came back, Clark was half stretched across her sofa  with his feet propped up on her coffee table. He was  absentmindedly flipping through channels on T.V. She handed him  his spoon and coffee before sitting down beside him so that  they could share the ice cream. When they had finished eating,  Lois leaned back against the couch. Clark's arm went around her  and he pulled her against him, like he had so many times in the  past, and they began to watch an old Perry Mason rerun on T.V.

Lois sighed. Being here, with Clark's arm around her and her  head resting on his shoulder felt so right. It always had. She  sat there oblivious to the television and wondered how she  could have dismissed his declaration of love so easily. It was  true that her heart began to race just by seeing Superman enter  a room. But this wasn't bad either.

"Do you really love me, Clark?" she asked tentatively. "I mean,  will you love me in a year - or five - or ten? Or is this just  one of those temporary infatuations?" She hated putting him on  the spot when she couldn't say that she returned his feelings,  but in order to make this decision, she really needed to know.

Clark's reply was soft. He was obviously on the verge of sleep.  "I really love you, Lois. Always have, always will."

She smiled, then frowned. Those were almost the same words that  Superman had spoken to her earlier this evening. It was  strange. She shook off the coincidence as she snuggled further  into his arms, reveling in the way it felt to be there. Over  the past few weeks, with the strain in their relationship, this  was one of the things she had missed the most.

For a long time, she contented herself with being held this  way. When she finally turned her head to look at him again, his  eyes were closed and his breathing was deep. She smiled as she  watched him sleep. Then, after picking up the remote and  flicking off the television, she turned a bit more in his arms.  Suddenly, an idea flashed through her mind. For a moment, she  hesitated, before...

'Oh, just do it,' she told herself firmly. Moving very slowly  and carefully so as not to wake him, she leaned over and kissed  him, oh so lightly, on the lips. She just wanted to see how it  felt. Of course, they had kissed previously. But she didn't  know if what she had felt then was real. Each time they had  kissed was in the middle of an otherwise emotional experience,  whether it was almost being discovered posing as honeymooners  at the Lexor Hotel, before being thrown out of an airplane or  when Clark was leaving the Daily Planet during the heat wave.  So she kissed him. A surge of warmth invaded her system at the  feel of his lips lightly touching hers. Immediately, Clark was  awake. She smiled shyly at being caught.

Clark looked into her eyes for a moment before raising his head  slightly, silently inviting her to, once again, touch her lips  to his. She seemed powerless to do anything but answer his  request. At first, each kiss was light, tentative - as if each  were cautious about venturing into this unfamiliar and oh so  dangerous territory. Then, giving a small groan which resonated  to the core of Lois' being, Clark's hand came up to the back of  Lois' head, burying itself in her hair and pulling her closer  as he deepened the kiss, almost robbing Lois of the ability to  breath.

She responded, turning more fully in his arms. Each kiss was  incredibly sweet. She felt the tentative brush of his tongue  against her lips and automatically opened her mouth to allow  him entry. And just as his tongue slipped past the barrier of  her lips, her heart felt as it, too, had been breached by the  man holding her.

Suddenly, Lois found herself feeling light- headed. Out of  control had never before felt quite this good. She had never  realized how easily she could respond to him. That was why she  told him she didn't love him that way. She didn't think she  felt passion for him. But what was going on inside her as they  kissed was not what she had expected. As the kisses continued,  they became more ardent.

She could hardly believe how different this was from kissing  Lex earlier in the evening. Then, she'd found herself  withdrawing. Now... Well, now she realized exactly how easy it  would be for her to get carried away.

In fact, when Lois felt Clark's hand slip underneath the back  of her sweatshirt, she was suddenly overcome by a desire to  feel Clark's chest under her hand instead of through the fabric  of his shirt. Without losing contact with his lips, she quickly  undid the middle button on his shirt and slipped her hand  inside only to be disappointed when she discovered that he was  wearing some sort of undershirt. She was about to try to get a  grasp on the unwanted clothing in an effort to pull the shirt  out of his jeans when...

"Superman!" she suddenly exclaimed, pulling away from Clark so  fast that she could have, at that moment, rivaled Superman for  speed.

"What?" gasped Clark, opening his eyes in confusion. He looked  at her, as if trying to grapple with the unexpected loss of the  soft body in his arms, pushing provocatively against him, and  the feel of her lips exploring his.

"Superman," she said again, rising from the couch. She avoided  eye contact with him as she busily began yanking at her  sweatshirt and pushing a hand through her hair to straighten  it. "We can't... I can't do this. Not until I figure out what  I'm going to do about Superman." She began to pace, still  refusing to look at Clark.

"What was I thinking?" she continued. "You're his friend. And  what if I decide... Oh, god, Clark. How would we ever be able  to explain to him...?" Her hand gestured frantically towards  the couch.

"Lois?" Clark asked, rising from the couch himself, obviously  not understanding what she was trying to say.

She quit pacing as he approached. Placing a single hand against  his chest when he was finally standing in front of her, she  struggled with how to explain this to him. When she knew she  couldn't continue to search for words, she finally looked up  and met his eyes.

"Look, Clark," she began slowly, "what just happened here... I  mean, when we were..."

"I know what you mean, Lois," Clark interrupted.

"It just... It shouldn't have happened," she said. When his  expression immediately fell, she realized she was not  explaining herself well. "That's not what I meant, Clark. I  meant, it was..." She sucked in a breath through her teeth. "It  was... wow. I mean, really wow. We're talking about real toe- curling stuff here, Clark." When his expression seemed to  lighten, she continued. "It's just that when I still don't know  what I'm going to do about Superman, we shouldn't be... I  shouldn't be..."

"It's okay, Lois," Clark interrupted. "I understand."

"Not that I have the foggiest idea what I'm going to do about  Superman," she immediately continued. "I mean, if he was just  Superman, that would be one thing. Not that I would know what  to do. But at least I'd know what my options really were. I  think I could even handle his having another persona. But he  made it pretty clear that I wouldn't like him in that persona.  He seemed positive about that. And I know it's ridiculous, but  I just can't seem to stop thinking that maybe it's someone like  Ralph."

"Lois..."

"What if he's right, Clark? What if he tells me who he is and I  realize that he's right - that I really, really don't like this  guy? If it is Ralph, how do I say: 'Sorry, Superman, but you're  right. I really..."

"Lois..."

"...don't like you. In fact, I think you're a creep and the  idea of you touching me makes me feel sick to my stomach."

"Lois..."

"Oh, god, Clark. What if it is Ralph? How do I handle that? Why  does it have to be Ralph? Why couldn't it be someone I really  like? Why couldn't it by someone like yo..."

Her voice came to an abrupt halt when something clicked in  Lois' mind. As if someone had suddenly flicked a switch, light  flooded into Lois' previously clouded mind. She began almost  gasping for air as the pieces of the puzzle began tumbling into  place with amazing speed. And it all suddenly made sense. In  fact, it was the only thing that did.

"You can cut it down to two choices," she began softly,  although speaking to him, addressing herself more. "Superman  doesn't think I would love him as an ordinary man - an ordinary  man I've already met and rejected... You both tell me you love  me using the same words... I've never seen you together, but  you're supposed to be friends... You're always able to get in  touch with him... And that stupid disappearing act of yours...  Omigod," Lois finally gasped.

Clark's face had gone from an expression of confusion to a  portrait in fear.

Lois reached down and, with trembling hands, undid another  couple of buttons on his shirt and pushed back the edges to  look at his cloth- covered chest. She gave a small whimper when  what she knew she was going to find was suddenly there, making  it impossible for her to dismiss the truth as merely a bad  dream. She was staring at the 'S' symbol on Superman's suit.

Her eyes drifted slowly from his chest to his face. She reached  up and cautiously removed his glasses before pushing his hair  off his face.

"It's true," she finally whispered.

"Yes."

"I..." She paused. "Wow!" she finally breathed. She shook her  head as if trying to juggle her thoughts around just enough to  organize them into some sort of coherent pattern.

"Lois?" Clark asked softly.

"That's what you couldn't tell me?"

"Yes."

"That you're... That you're..." She suddenly understood his  difficulty. She swallowed hard and tried again. "That you're...  Superman." The final word wasn't much more than a breath.

"Yes."

"Wow!" Lois repeated, still in a state of shock. He had told  her he was an ordinary man and that she wouldn't love him as an  ordinary man. She had wondered why he thought that. But he knew  it. He knew it because she had told him as much. There was no  guessing involved. Lois stared absently at the glasses in her  hands. "Omigod," she whispered.

Clark reached over to touch her, but she wrenched herself away  from his touch. Suddenly, she threw his glasses on the coffee  table as if they were burning her hands and fled to the other  side of the room. She didn't face him. She didn't dare. The  shock of the initial discovery was quickly being replaced by  humiliation. The things she had told Clark about Superman. How  could he do that to her? How could he betray her like that?

* * * * * * * * *

If Clark had ever wondered whether Lois listened to herself  when she babbled, he never would again. He had watched as  sudden realization had flooded her expression. And then stood  in fearful silence as she had fit the remaining pieces into  place.

Lois knew. And definitely not the way he had wanted her to find  out. Still... He waited for the firestorm he knew would follow.  But there was only silence as she stood with her back to him on  the far side of the room, hugging herself tightly. Screaming,  yelling, throwing things even, that he could handle. But what  did he do with silence?

"Lois?" Clark asked cautiously. He could feel her anguish even  from where he stood and desperately wanted to make her quit  hurting. Still, she made no sound, no move to indicate that she  had even heard him.

Hesitantly, he walked toward her. He was just about to reach  out to place a hand on her shoulder when she almost knocked him  off his feet by suddenly spinning toward him.

"Damn you, Clark Kent," she said, her eyes flashing with anger.  "How could you do this to me? I trusted you, both of you. How  could you just stand by and watch me make a fool of myself over  and over again? Did you get some sort of perverse pleasure in  humiliating me? I hope it was worth it. I hope you enjoyed the  entertainment."

Clark did the only thing he could think of. He took a step  forward to take her in his arms. His arms started to go around  her when she combined her verbal fury with a physical attack.  She pounded her fists against his chest. He gave enough to keep  her from hurting herself, allowing her to wear herself out  before pulling her fully into his arms and letting her sob  against his chest. When she finally calmed, she pushed him  away.

"Get out," she snarled.

"Lois, please, I..." Clark began.

"Get out!" she repeated, this time leaving little room for  argument.

Slamming the palms of her hands against his chest to push him  in the appropriate direction, she drove her point home. Clark  nodded sadly. Slowly making his way to the door, he forced  himself to put one shaky foot in front of the other.

He had blown it. He could have told her about himself, maybe  making it easier for him to control the situation. He'd  certainly had time to tell her. But he had chickened out. So  what would happen now? Would she change her mind and decide to  marry Luthor tomorrow now that both Clark and Superman had  undoubtedly been crossed off her list of potential romantic  prospects?

His strategy had back-fired completely. Now she knew Superman's  identity. He had even told her about kryptonite. And there was  nothing to stop her from marrying Luthor.

He slowly pushed open the door to her apartment building and  stepped outside. Suddenly, he felt slightly disoriented. He had  no idea what he was supposed to do now. He spotted the park  bench across from her building and, making his way over, sank  down on it, burying his head in his hands.

* * * * * * * * *

Part 04

As soon as the door closed, Lois threw herself onto the couch  and sobbed. How could he do that to her? That day in the park,  he had told her he loved her and then, when she had told him  the same thing only a few hours later, he had dismissed her. He  had been cold and distant. He had even taken off before letting  her finish. Why had he even come that night? He had to have  known what she was going to say. The only explanation was that  he had come to hurt her like she had hurt him.

Something else was bothering her. There were so many times when  he had encouraged her affections for Superman - she was certain  she hadn't imagined it - and yet, the whole time he knew... He  knew she didn't really feel that way about him. Yet he had  deliberately, systematically let her make a fool of herself  over and over again for the past year.

She knew that part of her anger was at herself for not  realizing it. It was like when Clark told her that he loved  her. Suddenly so much of the mystery of the past year was no  longer a mystery. It all made sense. Would he ever have told  her if she hadn't figured it out for herself? Probably not. But  even as she thought that, she knew it wasn't true. "Can you at  least tell me why this is so hard for you?" She recalled her  question of a short time ago. "I'm afraid." 'Well, buster,'  Lois thought to herself, 'you have good reason to be afraid.'  Maybe she should sit down and write the definitive expose on  Superman. Pay back hurt for hurt and probably get a Pulitzer  out of it. After all, he hadn't told her, she had figured it  out for herself. So he couldn't claim that she was breaking his  confidence.

She wouldn't do it. She knew that. After all, even if he was  wrong about Lex, there were a lot of people who would love  nothing better than to destroy Superman. And how better to do  that with someone invulnerable than to destroy his support  network.

"Two things can destroy me, Lois. Kryptonite and you."  Superman's words came back to her. Clark's words. He was right.  She could destroy him. But he seemed to think she had that  power even before she knew his secret. "I have been in love  with you for a long time. You had to have known." 'Oh Clark, if  you loved me, why? Why couldn't you be honest with me?' "I'm  not feeling very honest right now."

She went back and forth over everything for over an hour. By  the end, she had more questions than answers. She had to talk  to him. He owed her an explanation and she was determined to  get it. She considered calling him, but he had company, and  although she had no qualms about waking Clark tonight, waking  his company was another matter. She considered sticking her  head out the window and yelling for Superman, but that would  attract the attention of the neighbors and she really didn't  want to talk to Superman, anyway. She wanted to talk to Clark.  And if he appeared in the suit and cape, she wasn't sure that  she would be able to make the distinction. After all, for the  past year she had thought of them as two separate people. She  finally decided that she would walk over to his apartment. She  grabbed her coat and headed for the door.

Lois was startled when she stepped outside her building. Clark  was sitting on the bench across from her apartment building. He  had his head resting in his hands and she was fairly certain he  was asleep.

Lois slowly made her way over, taking a seat beside him to  study the form of her sleeping friend - or was that former  friend? She shook her head slightly. He was her friend.  Regardless of what he'd done, his actions over the past year  had earned him the right to at least a hundred thousand doubts.

Still, it was hard to reconcile all of this in her mind with  the fact that they were friends. Friends talked to each other,  confided in each other. She'd told him things she'd never told  anyone else. Yet not once had he even hinted... Her thought  trailed off as a conversation she had had with Clark a few  months previously came back to her. She had demanded to know  his biggest secret - needing blackmail material. When she  didn't think he had told her his biggest secret and called him  on it, he had responded by saying, "Just to put your little  mind at ease, Lois. You're right." Talk about not overstating  things.

But even if he was her friend, the fact remained that he had  hurt her terribly. He had lied to her repeatedly. He had played  with her emotions. Friends didn't do that to each other. As a  result, she desperately needed some answers.

"Clark," she said softly.

* * * * * * * * *

Clark opened his eyes, looking up at Lois in confusion. Where  was he? Suddenly, the events of the last few hours came  flooding back.

"I'm sorry, Lois," Clark said, stumbling to his feet. "I'll get  out of here." He started to leave.

"Don't go, Clark. I need you to answer some questions for me."  She was no longer furious but there was still a tremendous  amount of distress in her voice.

His heart skipped a beat. She wanted to talk. Maybe there was  still a chance to prevent her from marrying Luthor. He  struggled for a moment to find a game-plan before realizing  that all he could really do was to be completely honest with  her and let the chips fall where they may.

He nodded. She got up and headed back to her apartment, him  following behind. It was only when they were both safely in her  apartment that she again spoke.

"I just..." she said in a shaky voice, before falling silent.  She walked over to the window through which Superman had  visited her so many times and stood looking out. "I need to  know why."

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you trust me?"

"It was never a matter of trust," Clark said, walking over to  the window, but being careful to give her her space.

"Then what was it?"

"When I created Superman, I didn't know you well enough to tell  you. After that..." Clark paused, unsure how to say this.  "Lois, I never expected Superman to affect you the way he did.  I was scared that if I told you, I'd either lose what I had  with you as Superman, or I'd lose what I had with you as Clark,  or both."

"So instead you let me make a fool of myself. Clark, how could  you do that?" It was said more in pain than anger.

"You didn't make a fool of yourself, Lois."

"No? I constantly threw myself at Superman and you just  watched. In fact, you encouraged it, Clark. I would just get  some control over my feelings for Superman and there you would  be again, at my window."

"I know. I just..." His voice trailed off.

"Keep talking, Clark." It was not a request. It was a demand.

"I created Superman because I wanted to help without  jeopardizing my chance to have a normal life. I never expected  that Superman would become such a... a Superstar, I guess. I'm  just a farm boy from Kansas. Suddenly, I was..." Clark  shrugged. "The only thing that kept me going a lot of the time  was you."

"Don't play with me, Clark," she warned.

"I'm not," Clark jumped in. "Lois, I deal with an incredible  amount of evil and heartache on a daily basis."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"I don't know if you realize this, but you have often kept me  going when I felt like I had nothing left to give. I would  swear that I wouldn't come by anymore. That I wouldn't seek out  your company as Superman. I knew I wasn't being fair to you.  Then things would just get to be too much for me and I'd need  my fix."

"Your fix?" Lois asked, turning towards him, her confusion  obvious from her expression.

Clark nodded. "My fix of Lois Lane. I would need to see the  look you get when you look at Superman. I would need it so  badly sometimes that I felt like a junkie feeding my  addiction," Clark looked down, "I knew I should stay away, but  I just couldn't seem to do it. I'm sorry," Clark finally  whispered.

Lois was captivated. Hearing him refer to her as 'Superman's  fix'... There was something almost appealing about that. He  hadn't been trying to make a fool out of her at all. He had  needed, even craved, her affection for Superman. And most  importantly, he hadn't been laughing at her behind her back.  Superman's 'fix.' Wow!

"Then tell me," she continued, "why did Superman come see me  the evening after you told me you loved me?"

"You asked for him," Clark responded, looking slightly confused  by the question.

She gasped. Because she had asked for Superman. There was  nothing sinister here. Clark was just being Clark. So when she  had asked for Superman, he had answered her request. He hadn't  been trying to hurt her at all. In fact, that was probably why  Superman had been so abrupt with her even before she had told  him what was on her mind. He was trying to stop her from  expressing her feelings for Superman - to prevent her from  being hurt. She had gotten hurt because she had ignored his  attempt to warn her.

Lois slowly closed the distance between her and Clark. She  reached up a hand and put it under his chin, raising his face  to look into his eyes, Clark's eyes, but without the glasses,  which were still lying where she had thrown them earlier. His  eyes were so full of fear, shame, pain, insecurity. 'I have the  power to destroy Superman,' she suddenly realized. 'Not by  printing what I know. No, by simply refusing to forgive him.'  And she didn't want to destroy him. After all, despite what he  had done, he was the most decent, caring man she had ever  known.

"Your fix?" she asked, a smile pulling at the corner of her  mouth in spite of herself. "Tell me something, do you think  that this could be even more addicting?" She stepped up closer  to him and lightly kissed him. She pulled back again to look at  him. "So, are you hooked yet?"

She watched him swallow hard. He hadn't taken his eyes off her  lips. Her hands ran up his chest around his neck before she  pulled him back in for another kiss, this time pouring her  heart and soul into the activity. His arms went tentatively  around her as he responded, passion for passion. It was a good  minute before she pulled away. But when she finally did, he was  breathless. She smiled slightly. It was giving her back her  confidence to realize she could have such an effect on the Man  of Steel.

"Lois..." Clark began, only to fall silent again when she held  up her hand.

"I need a moment to think," Lois informed him, before suddenly  being consumed by memories. As she stared into the face that  was such a mixture of Clark Kent and Superman, she thought  back. "You... Metropolis has a bigger hold on Superman then you  might think," Clark had told her once. "Thank you... For  whatever you've done for me that makes me feel so good about  you," he had said when he had amnesia. "You don't need to bid  for my attention, Lois... You will always be special to me,  Lois. You're the first woman who ever... interviewed me."  However, she had definitely had the impression that he had  started out to say something quite different. When she had  lamented the fact that Superman didn't even know she was alive  and that it was stupid to think that he cared, Clark had been  right there to say that it wasn't stupid. That maybe she should  consider that Superman might be scared to reveal himself, his  true feelings. She thought about the night that she had, under  the influence of the pheromone compound, done the dance of the  seven veils for him. He had said, "You don't know how many  times I've thought about this, dreamed about this. Well,  something like this. But it isn't real." He loved her so much  that he had resisted her advances for two days when she had to  have been driving him crazy. He loved her. He always had. He  had just never been able to get her to see beyond the suit. She  suddenly understood what he had meant by that comment. He had  been trying for the past year to let her know how he felt about  her.

With the return of her self-assurance, the anger, and even the  pain, began to dissipate. She took and let out a long slow  breath before leading Clark back to the couch. Pulling him down  onto the couch with her, she turned to settle comfortably into  his arms.

She could feel the tension in his body, as if he was still not  entirely sure that he had been forgiven. So, had he? She needed  a moment to compose her thoughts. Finally, when she knew what  she needed to say, she began to speak.

"Look, Clark, it's going to take me some time to deal with all  of this. I know you weren't trying to hurt me and I guess I  sort of like the idea of Superman considering me his 'fix'. But  I can't promise that I won't get angry with you while I work my  way through it." She glanced back to look in his eyes.

"Fair enough," he said. There was a moment of silence before he  spoke again. "So have you made your choice?" Clark asked, a  slight tremor in his voice.

Lois laughed. "After I decided that I wasn't going to marry  Lex, was there really any decision left to make?"

The breath that escaped from Clark caused Lois to look at him  again. There was such a look of relief on his face that Lois  felt slightly confused. She thought back to what she had just  said and suddenly she had a crazy thought.

"Clark, when I threw you out did you think that I was going to  go ahead with my plans to marry Lex?" she asked.

Clark shifted uncomfortably, telling Lois that her hunch had  been right on. He had obviously thought she was going to marry  Lex.

"I'll admit that when I threw you out, I wanted to roast you  alive over an open fire," she confessed. When his eyebrows  rose, she reached over and ran a hand down his cheek. "But, to  tell you the truth, I never even considered going through with  my marriage to Lex."

"So does that mean you've made your choice?" asked Clark  tentatively. "After all, there still is one choice left to  make." When she looked slightly confused, he continued. "Do you  want to be with me or not?"

She turned fully in his arms then, meeting his eyes and  exploring them for a moment before responding. "I don't know  what's going to happen between us, but I have a feeling we're  going to have to find out. So I guess that's a 'yes.'"

"I love you, Lois Lane," Clark said softly.

She smiled. "I'm glad." Then her smile faded slightly as she  realized that he was probably looking for quite a different  response from her. But was it a response she could give? She  knew she was glad that he loved her. And she knew that what she  felt for him was a whole lot more than simple friendship. But  was it love?

"Look, Clark. About that. About the 'love' stuff. I mean, I  know that you probably want... Or maybe expect..."

His finger on her lips cut her off.

"All I want is for you to give us a chance," he said. "I'm  willing to wait to hear those words back, Lois."

"Are you sure? 'Cause, what I feel for you is... I mean, I know  that it's more than friendship. I'm just... This is all just  happening so fast, you know. I guess I need time to figure  out..."

"I know, Lois," Clark said, cutting her off.

Lois reached up, running her fingers lightly over his cheek as  her eyes filled with moisture. She struggled for a moment,  trying to put into words exactly what she was feeling.  Suddenly, she realized that words weren't necessary. Instead,  she leaned over and found his lips with hers. His response  indicated that he wasn't exactly opposed to the means she had  chosen to express herself.

As they continued to kiss, he reclined on the couch, pulling  her with him. Her hands once again began to roam. Her fingers  slipped between the still undone buttons of his shirt to  lightly stroke the material underneath. Suddenly, Lois broke  the kiss.

"Umm... now, don't get me wrong. I mean, I love the suit and  everything. But..."

She watched a slow smile spread across his face as  understanding of what she was trying to say seemed to sink in.  It was only a moment before, using a burst of superspeed, he  spun out of the suit and settled back down with her as Clark,  his partially open shirt now revealing the bare skin of his  chest.

"Better?" he asked, a slightly smug grin on his face which she  suspected was his response to the somewhat stunned look she was  certain was on her face as a result of his casual use of his  superpowers.

"Much," she responded, slipping her hand inside the fabric and  watching in satisfaction when the smug look disappeared almost  instantaneously as her fingers began to explore the muscles of  his chest. She couldn't help but lean in to kiss him once  again.

It was a few minutes later before Clark broke the kiss, pulling  back far enough to study her eyes while he gently stroked her  cheek.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked.

"Disappointed?"

"Well, you had put Superman up on quite a pedestal. I'm just  wondering if you're disappointed to find out that he's..."

"You?" she concluded. "No! Clark, how could you even think  that? I..."

"Well, actually," interrupted Clark, "I was going to say 'that  he's not Ralph.'"

She stared at him in utter disbelief for a moment before she  noticed the corner of his mouth begin to twitch in amusement.

"Oh, god, Clark," she said, burying her face against his neck.  "I can just see it now. You're never going to let me live that  down, are you?"

"Not in this lifetime, at least," Clark assured her, his chest  vibrating against her as he, wrapping his arms more securely  around her, began to laugh.

* * * * * * * * *

Ellen Lane fumbled through her purse to find the keys for her  daughter's apartment. It was a good thing she had decided to  come by early this morning, because there was no noise coming  from inside. If it wasn't for her, her daughter would  undoubtedly be late to her own wedding.

She unlocked Lois' door and turned the doorknob. She opened the  door, trying to juggle all the bags in her arms, and stepped  inside. She had only taken a few steps when she suddenly  noticed a mass of arms and legs, sprawled together across the  sofa. She gasped when she realized that some of those arms and  legs belonged to her daughter while others belonged to some  strange man she had never met - a man who was most certainly  not Lex Luthor.

"Lois Joanne Lane, what do you think you're doing?" Ellen  immediately demanded.

Lois tried to wake up. It was hard because she had only been  asleep for about an hour - still, the urgency in her mother's  voice told her that she needed to pull herself out of the warm  cocoon she seemed to be in. Rubbing the sleep out her eyes, she  took in her surroundings, and in particular, the gorgeous  specimen of a man in whose arms she'd been sleeping.

"Sleeping," Lois said, finally answering her mother's question.  Beside her, Clark began to stir. "Morning," she said softly to  him, running her fingers through his tousled hair.

"Morning," he replied, leaning in to kiss her lightly.

When the kiss broke, Lois realized that Clark wasn't wearing  his glasses. And although his hair was messed up enough that he  didn't particularly look like Superman at the moment, she  reached across his body, picked up his glasses from the coffee  table and handed them to him. He quickly slipped them on.

"What do you think you're doing?" Ellen demanded.

Lois looked at her mother in confusion. She was not fifteen.  This was her own apartment. And both she and Clark were fully  clothed - well, except for where his shirt hung open, revealing  that magnificent chest. So what was her mother so upset about?

"Lex! Your wedding! What are you doing here with another man?"

"Oh right. The wedding. I guess I need to tell Lex that the  wedding's off."

"What?" Ellen exclaimed.

"Clark and I spent the night talking and... oh wait, have you  met my boyfriend, yet - Clark Kent?"

Beside her, Clark smiled.

THE END

Table of Contents

Midnight Gambit

Part 01

Part 02

Part 03

Part 04