Illusions of Candour

A 30 Minute Episode Extension Challenge Story: Illusions of  Grandeur

By Meredith Knight <meredith@putwet.demon.co.uk>

Rated: PG

Submitted: June 2002

This is the vociferously demanded <g> sequel to my  challenge fic, All Sewn Up, which should be read first to  make sense of this one.

Thanks to LabRat, as ever, for faithful and helpful BRing.  :)  And to Thania St John for the script for the episode  Illusions of Grandeur, out of which I used several lines of  dialogue.  Usual disclaimers apply.

Note: In production/BBC order, Illusions of Grandeur  follows straight after All Shook Up.

**********

Illusions of Candour

Lois Lane was upset and, being Lois Lane, was taking it out  on the inanimate objects around her.  Her keyboard groaned  under the angry onslaught of her fingers, sighing in relief  as she paused to take a sip of coffee.  Banged down too  hard, some of the coffee leapt skywards and made a  desperate bid for escape.  Lois muttered a curse and  reached for the box of tissues cowering on the corner of  the desk.

As she mopped up the spill, Lois sneaked yet another glance  at Clark's vacant desk.  It was well after nine, but he  hadn't yet made an appearance.  It wasn't exactly unusual  for him to be in late, and she now knew the real reason he  was so often unavoidably detained, but this morning she had  good reason to be worried.  The last sight she'd had of him  was when he'd handed poor, terrified Nicky back to his  kidnapper; then he'd turned away with a completely blank  face and flown off into the night without a backward  glance.

He hadn't answered his phone all night.  After a lengthy  internal debate Lois had phoned the Kent farmhouse in  Kansas, but Clark hadn't turned up there, either.  Lois had  hated to worry Martha and Jonathan, but they would have  heard the bad news anyway as soon as the national networks  picked up the story of Superman's unaccountable behaviour.   With both Jimmy and Mr Moskal as witnesses, Lois hadn't had  a hope of suppressing the story; all she could do was cast  it in as favourable a light as possible.

Footsteps sounded behind her, and Jimmy's irrepressibly  cheerful voice intruded on her musing.  "Hey, Lois, have  you seen CK this morning?  I've got some stuff he asked  for."

"No, I haven't," Lois growled, then wondered if she ought  to be covering for Clark.  But how could she, when she had  no idea where he was or how long he'd be?  She took another  mouthful of coffee and grimaced - it was now stone cold.   She poured the remaining half-cup into her asparagus fern,  extinguishing the last feeble flicker of life, and thrust  the mug at Jimmy.  "Here, make yourself useful..."

"Here he comes!" Jimmy sang out, ignoring her completely.

Lois put down the mug and closed her eyes for a moment in  heartfelt thanksgiving, then turned to look for Clark.  She  schooled her expression to her usual level of friendly  welcome while she waited for her heart to finish the flip- flop it always did at first sight of him.  The few times  she had allowed her face to light up naturally at his  arrival, she had seen his instant withdrawal behind a thin  film of ice, and it was an experience she did her best to  avoid repeating.  Until last week, when Clark had told her  his secret, she would have sworn that he cherished hopes of  a closer relationship with her; but since then he had made  it abundantly clear that nothing could be further from his  mind.

Unfortunately for Lois, it was seldom far from her own  mind.  Her genuine admiration and her misty, romantic  yearning for Metropolis's resident superhero, together with  her warm regard for her best friend and her hitherto  ruthlessly suppressed attraction towards her dangerously  sexy partner, had coalesced into a case of dizzying, knee- trembling, palm-sweating love for the man who was all  three... and who didn't reciprocate.  Lois didn't know  whether it was her in particular, or whether Clark simply  had no interest in non-Kryptonian women, but since his  revelation he'd done his best to discourage her from  showing anything more than simple friendship.

Not that her reaction to him was foremost in his mind this  morning, she realised, spotting Clark striding down the  newsroom ramp.  She could have tap-danced a welcome across  the newsroom in a chicken costume and Clark wouldn't have  noticed a thing.  He was staring fixedly at the copy of the  morning edition in his hand, and looking haggard.  "Is this  really what happened?" he demanded as he neared Lois's  desk.

Lois nodded.  "Jimmy saw the whole thing, too," she said.

"I don't understand," Clark muttered.  "I don't remember  any of it."

Lois glared at him.  Did he want the whole newsroom to know  his secret?  "Of course you don't," she said pointedly,  "you weren't there.  Did you get enough sleep last night?   You look kind of funny.  Jimmy, get Clark some coffee, will  you?"

She waited until Jimmy had gone, then grabbed Clark's  sleeve.  "Conference room, buster!" she hissed, adding,  "Now!" as he balked.

She shepherded him into the conference room and closed the  door behind them.  Instantly Clark turned to her, his eyes  desperate.  "Lois, tell me I didn't hand that kid back to  his kidnapper!" he pleaded.

"You did, Clark," Lois said, putting a sympathetic hand on  his arm.  "You were obviously hypnotised."

"But I *can't* have been!" he cried.  "I can't be  vulnerable to that..."

"So you're human, Clark," she said calmly, shrugging.  "Get  over it.  Where..."

There was a knock on the door.  Lois yanked it open and  relieved Jimmy of the coffee mug he'd brought.  "Thanks,"  she said briskly, and closed the door again.

She turned to hand the mug to Clark, and found him staring  angrily at her.  "I'm not human, Lois," he said tightly.   "That's the whole point."

"Oh, Clark," she sighed.  "You're human where it counts.   Your mind is human.  Here, drink this and calm down.  We  can't work out how to tackle this if you're panicking."

He took the mug obediently, with a ghost of a smile at her  tactics, and subsided into a chair.

"Though if you're so upset about it, maybe you'll be able  to do something about it," she continued thoughtfully.   "Maybe your mind is different enough to fight it off."

"But what if it isn't?" he demanded.  "This guy could make  me do anything!  What if I hurt someone?"

"But you didn't, Clark," Lois pointed out.  She suppressed  a twinge of conscience about Nicky's plight.  "Not that I  know of.  Where did you go last night, anyway?"

"I don't remember a thing," Clark said glumly.  "I woke up  in bed this morning in my Suit, at nine o'clock.  By the  look of the Suit - and the sheets - I seem to have been on  a beach."

She smiled at him.  "See?" she said.  "You didn't hurt  anyone, you just played hooky and went to the beach.   Probably in the Indian Ocean somewhere, I imagine."  The  mental image of Superman paddling in the waves like a child  struck her as hilarious, but she wasn't about to risk  upsetting Clark by laughing.

Perry tapped on the door and walked in.  "I just got off  the phone with the Chief of Police," he announced.   "They're not following up on the hypnotism lead.  There was  no evidence left on the scene, and nothing in your  photographs that pointed to anybody but Superman."

"But we all saw it," Lois protested.  "Even Moskal!"

"And he's not talking," Perry said.  "Now I'm not telling  you to drop this story, 'cause I believe you saw what you  said you did.  We just need something concrete, that's  all."

"We'll get you something, Chief," Lois promised.  "Clark,  we should go and see that hypnotist, Dr Novak - ask him if  there's any way to snap Superman out of a trance."

There was another knock.  "Yeah, what is it now?" snapped  Lois.

Jimmy stuck his head round the door.  "Lois, phone call  from someone called Constance," he said.  "She wants to  talk to you about..."  He consulted the note in his hand.   "... Darren Romick."

"That could be an important lead," Lois said excitedly.   "Clark, you phone Dr Novak - I'll go see Constance."

**********

The interview with Constance confirmed Lois's initial  suspicions that Romick must be behind the kidnappings.  The  obvious thing to do now was to watch Romick and search for  Nicky, but for that she needed Clark's super help.

As she left the magicians' club, Lois got a call from Jimmy  to say that there was a crisis at EPRAD - some general  wanted to set off a nuclear missile.  Did Clark know about  it, Lois asked immediately, and was reassured by the  answer: Clark had left the building just as the news broke,  with an odd look on his face.

There was no sign of Superman at EPRAD all afternoon,  however.  The crisis was eventually solved without his  help, but Lois was once again seriously worried about his  wellbeing.

As she got out of her taxi outside the Planet, she saw a  sight that filled her with simultaneous relief and  foreboding.  Relief because at least she knew where  Superman was; foreboding because he was walking down the  sidewalk, muttering to himself and systematically uprooting  the parking meters along his way.

"Superman!" she yelled, waving to get his attention; but  his blank gaze slid over her without recognition.

As he got closer, Lois could hear the words he was  muttering: "Wrong is right.  Wrong is right."

Post-hypnotic suggestion, she thought to herself.  It was  time to put her faith in him to the test.  She screwed up  her courage and planted herself squarely in his path.   "Superman, it's me - Lois," she said.  "You have to stop  this.  It's wrong."

He stopped, almost on top of her, and turned his distant  gaze towards her.  "Wrong is right," he said tonelessly.   Then there was a flicker of something in his eyes.  "Lois,"  he said.  "Wrong is right."  His expression changed to  something she could only describe as a leer.  The next  instant he had grasped her waist with both hands and taken  off straight up into the air.

He headed directly for his apartment, landing on the  balcony.  At once his hands shifted, sliding gently around  to her back, and he bent his head and kissed her.

Lois gasped in surprise, and was quickly lost in a rush of  pleasure.  Clark was holding nothing back, one hand holding  her hips firmly against his, the other caressing her back  and the nape of her neck.  She yielded to the insistent  pressure of his lips, and his tongue took possession of her  mouth, plundering her depths over and over.  She moaned and  slid her arms up around his neck, tangling her fingers in  his thick, soft hair and drawing him still closer.

Suddenly he let her go, and she opened her eyes in  puzzlement, but it was only so that he could scoop her up  in his arms.  "Wrong is right," he intoned again.

As he turned towards the balcony door, Lois understood.  He  wasn't doing this because he wanted to, but because his  mind had been tampered with.

The door was locked, but Clark scarcely hesitated.  He  simply set his shoulder against it and pushed, and with a  sharp crack it gave way.  Clark strode to the bed and laid  Lois down.  Then he stretched himself out beside her and  resumed his onslaught on her senses, his tongue twining  with hers, his hands roaming over her body and finding her  most sensitive areas.

Even as she responded with all the pent-up desire of the  last week, her mind began to protest.  Clark didn't really  want to do this.  He thought it was wrong.

<Does it matter?> asked a traitorous little voice.

<Yes, it does,> she replied bravely.  She didn't just want  mindless sex with Clark, she wanted him to love her.  And  he would be devastated when he came to and realised what  he'd done.

He was starting to unbutton her blouse, his mouth lifting  to trace her jaw and the side of her throat, his large body  looming over hers.

<But you couldn't stop him if you tried,> her inner voice  protested.  <You've wanted this for so long - and it feels  so wonderful, so right...>

And in a flash, she had the answer.  "Clark, this is  wonderful," she said huskily, as he smoothed back her  blouse and kissed his way across to the hollow of her  shoulder.  "It feels so right... it would be wrong to stop  now."

He lifted his head.  "Wrong is right," he said uncertainly.

"Clark, please don't stop!" she said; she didn't have to  fake the pleading tone.

He drew back, his face bewildered.  "Wrong is..."  He  stopped, seemingly paralysed by indecision.  Only his eyes  showed the battle that was raging inside him.

"You're doing it, Clark!" she cried exultantly, sitting up.   "You're fighting it!  Keep going, Clark, you can win!  You  can do what you know is right, not what someone else tells  you to!"

His mouth moved, but the words didn't come out.  Instead,  he swallowed convulsively and surfaced.  His face came  alive again; then as his gaze took in the sight before him,  Lois's no doubt kiss-swollen mouth and her disarrayed  clothing, he sat up and buried his face in his hands with a  groan.

"You've done it!" she crowed, hastily buttoning her blouse.   "You broke free!"

He flinched as she put her hand on his shoulder.  "But...  you... I'm sorry, Lois," he said heavily.  "I should  never..."  He lifted his head, and winced as he caught  sight of the broken balcony door.  "Oh, god - I really did  the caveman act, didn't I?"

"It's okay, Clark, you didn't hurt me," she assured him.   "You couldn't help yourself."

He grimaced but didn't answer, and she added in a low  voice, "I wasn't exactly unwilling, you know."

His face turned a dull red.  "I know," he admitted,  refusing to meet her eyes.

She hesitated for a moment, but she had to ask.  "Clark,  you aren't... indifferent to me, are you?  And I'm... not  indifferent to you, either.  Why are you so convinced it  would be wrong to, well..."  She waved a hand vaguely,  embarrassed.

Clark was staring at his hands, gnawing his lip, and for a  while it didn't seem as though he would answer.  Then he  spoke hesitantly, in a strained voice.  "You said it  yourself, Lois - you love me like a brother.  It's Superman  you... feel like that about, not me."

She frowned at him, bewildered.  "But you *are* Superman!   What are you talking about?"

He stood up, looking broodingly down at the Suit, then spun  quickly back into his work clothes.  "Not really," he said,  walking to the window and staring out.  "Clark is who I am.   Superman is just something I can do."

"That's silly, Clark!" she said, starting to get annoyed.   "You're not just any ordinary nobody.  You may have been  raised in Kansas, but you were born on Krypton.  You can  change your clothes in a flash, and fly, and... and if I  were to come over there and hit you like I want to, I'd  probably break my hand, but you wouldn't even feel it  because nothing can hurt you, and..."

"Except Kryptonite," Clark interjected.

"Kryptonite?  Really - it does exist?" she said, intrigued  in spite of herself.  "Oh, *don't* try to distract me!" she  snapped, catching sight of his smothered grin.  "Clark,  you're different - and special!  What's wrong with that?"

The brief gleam of humour had left his face again.  "I  don't want to be different.  I want... I'm just me inside,  nothing special."

"I want you to love me for myself."  He hadn't said the  words, but they hung in the air nonetheless.  Lois looked  at him, her anger dying; she was starting to understand  just how much he was hurting.

"So you're saying I fell in love with Superman because he  can fly and lift rockets into space, and because he wears  tight, revealing spandex?" she said slowly, trying to  ignore the fact that she was now also talking about Clark  in the third person.

Clark shifted uncomfortably and didn't answer, his eyes  going to the window again.

"I can't deny that I was swept off my feet by those things  at the start," she said deliberately.  "But that wasn't  love, it was just hero worship.  When I realised that  Superman was powerful enough to do anything he wanted, but  he only used his powers to help people... that was when I  started to fall in love with him.  That's who Superman is  inside, Clark - that's you."

He had turned to face her again, and she could see that he  wanted to believe her.  "But you didn't fall in love with  Clark Kent," he said levelly.

It was her turn to colour and look away.  "I couldn't  afford to fall in love with Clark Kent.  I told you about  Claude...  Superman was safe - he was this perfect being,  who I knew would never hurt me.  Clark was human, and he  could hurt me very easily if I let him."

"But now that you know I'm an alien, you're safe?" he  suggested, raw pain in his voice.

Lois stared at him, shocked.  "Of course not!" she  exclaimed.  "How many times do I need to say it, Clark?   You're just as human and fallible as the rest of us.  I  have no doubt you could hurt me, but that's a risk I have  to take, because..."  Her voice faltered, and she ducked  her head and took a deep breath.  "... because I don't have  a choice any more.  I'm in love with you, and I can't help  it."

There was a brief pause, then Clark took a step towards  her.  "You really mean that?" he said softly.

Lois looked up, and saw that he did believe her this time.   "Yes, I do," she said, rising to meet him.  "Why, what are  you planning to do about it?"

He smiled, his gaze locked on her face.  "This," he said,  sliding his arms around her slowly as he had done earlier,  and pulling her body against his.  "And this..."

He dipped his head and kissed her.  This time it was slow  and tentative, requesting rather than demanding her  response.  And this time, she realised with a thrill, it  was what they both wanted.

**********

A while later, Lois came up for air, clinging helplessly to  Clark.  Her knees had given way some time ago, but he  seemed to be supporting her easily.  In fact... She looked  around her and chuckled.  "I told you you were special,"  she murmured.  "None of my other boyfriends ever kissed me  on the ceiling."

He growled, and launched another assault on the side of her  neck that left her senses reeling.

"Clark," she said reluctantly.

"Hmm?"

"I hate to interrupt what you're... mmm... doing, but we  have a kidnapper to catch."

Clark sighed, and piloted them back to the floor.  "I guess  you're right, duty calls.  But don't think I'm going to let  you get away again, Lois Lane, now that I know the way you  feel about me."

"I'm counting on it," she said, smiling at him.  "But  aren't you forgetting something?"

"What's that?" he said cautiously.

"How do you feel about me?"

He looked confused for an instant, then a broad grin  transformed his face.  Lois caught her breath; how could  she *ever* have thought this man was an ordinary nobody?

"I love you, Lois," he said, his eyes holding hers.  "I've  loved you ever since I first saw you in Perry's office, but  I thought I'd never be able to tell you that."  He lifted  her hand to his lips and kissed it.  "Now," he added, his  eyes twinkling dangerously, "let's go and find Nicky and  get him back to his mother, before I give in to the  temptation to sweep you off your feet and finish what I  started earlier!"

**********

Next morning, Lane and Kent were hard at work as usual,  finishing off the full story of how Constance had been  behind the kidnappings, and how Superman had caught her  instructing Darren Romick, under hypnosis, to kill Dr  Novak.  She had been so incensed when Superman had refused  to obey her orders that she had said rather more than was  wise about her plans to dominate the world using the so- called Magic Channel; and she had continued to rant about  it even after she'd been officially cautioned.  Superman  had retrieved her satellite from orbit, to be used as  evidence against her and then destroyed.  She was unlikely  to see the outside of a prison again for a very long time.

Perry came barrelling out of his office.  "Lois, where's  your copy?" he barked.

Lois sat back in her chair, and Clark straightened up from  where he had been bending over her to study her monitor.   "Five minutes, Chief," called Lois.

Perry suddenly caught sight of Clark's left hand, usually  positioned carefully behind his back or on the back of  Lois's chair, now resting familiarly on Lois's shoulder.   His eyes widened.  "What's gotten into you two this  morning?" he enquired.

Lois smiled and lifted a hand from the keyboard to lace her  fingers through Clark's.  "Oh, just... magic, I guess," she  said airily.

Perry snorted and headed back towards his office.  Lois  caught a mutter that sounded suspiciously like, "...  newsroom, not a singles club," but he didn't sound entirely  displeased.  Lois and Clark shared a chuckle and a swift  kiss before getting back to work.

The End.

(c) Copyright 2002, Meredith Knight

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