Havoc in Metropolis

By Meredith Knight  <meredith@putwet.demon.co.uk>

Rated: PG

Submitted: May 2004

Author's Note:

I never quite believed that the Lexor Hotel staff could fail to  recognise Lois-the-obstreperous-bride as the guest who'd stayed alone  in the honeymoon suite the previous night.  So while I was writing That  Honeymoon Feeling, and watching Honeymoon in Metropolis for research  purposes, a stray train of thought got out of hand and produced this  bit of nonsense. <g>

Disclaimer: The characters and situation are not mine - I'm merely  borrowing them for fun, and not for profit.  Credit goes to Dan Levine  for the first paragraph of dialogue.

Havoc in Metropolis A B-Plot Untwist

"Lois, think it through," Perry said earnestly.  "No hotel's going to  sit still for us using it as a base for spy operations.  You need a  cover.  What better cover than honeymooners in the Honeymoon Suite?   It's called: keeping a low profile."

He picked up the phone on his desk and dialled.  "Lexor Hotel?  I'd  like to reserve your Honeymoon Suite for a newlywed couple.  The next  three nights.  Yes, I know it's short notice - it was a spur-of-the- moment deci...  What's that?  The suite is occupied?"

Lois rolled her eyes.  "Give me that, Perry!  Hello?  This is Lois  Lane.  Yes, the guest in the Honeymoon Suite.  I'm cancelling my  reservation for the rest of the weekend.  Yes, thank you.  YES!  OK!   I'll be round in half an hour to pack my things and pay the check, does  that suit you, you pernickety pen-pusher?  Geesh!"

She handed the phone back to Perry with a satisfied air.  He took it  gingerly, shooting an unreadable look at Lois.

"Er... hello?  Can I make that reservation now?  Yes, that's right,  three...  Yes, well, Miss La...  You won't?  Blacklisted?"

Lois gave a growl and reached for the phone again, but Perry fended her  off.  Clark took her arm and signed at her to calm down, his eyes  dancing.

Perry cleared his throat.  "Unpleasant attitude...  Staff threatening  to strike?  Oh, no tips.  Yes, I see...  What's that - malicious damage  to property?  Phone in the *bath*?"

"That was an accident!" Lois yelled.  "Let me speak to him!"

She struggled to release herself from Clark's hold.  Perry turned his  back and moved away a few steps, plugging his free ear with a finger.

"No, I can quite understand.  Of course.  But you see, Miss Lane is  just the bridesmaid.  The bride is a Miss Catherine Grant."

His next few words were drowned by Lois's howl of protest.  "Perry!   You can't do that to me!  It's *my* story!"

Clark picked her up bodily to stop her clawing free of his grip, but it  didn't diminish the volume.  He considered for a moment, shrugged, and  applied his lips to hers.  Lois's words became muffled, changed to a  shocked gasp, then rapidly gave way to murmurs and moans of pleasure.

Perry removed his finger from his ear.  "Sorry about that...  Yes, as I  was saying - the reservation is in the name of..."  He covered the  mouthpiece and turned.  "Clark, are you..."  His mouth fell open at the  sight of his top reporting team, now sprawled on his couch in a tight  clinch.  He looked helplessly around the room, raising his eyebrows at  Cat, who was looking extremely chagrined.  Then his gaze fell on...   "Aha!"

He took his hand off the mouthpiece.  "... in the name of Mr Jimmy  Olsen and Mrs Catherine Olsen.  Thank you."

He hung up and turned to the new partners.  Cat was sizing Jimmy up  with narrowed eyes; Jimmy seemed to be speechless with pride and  excitement.

"Right, you two!" Perry barked.  "I want you packed and ready to check  in just as soon as these lovebirds here..."  He glared at Clark and  Lois, whose hands had started to roam.  "... have separated, and Lois  has checked out."

Jimmy found his voice.  "Sure thing, Chief!" he chirped.  "I'll go and  get my equipment ready.  We'll need the biggest and the best for this  job!"

Perry glanced involuntarily at Cat, whose face had split into a wide  smile.  "Sure, Jimmy," she purred.  "Just make sure that equipment's in  perfect working order."

Jimmy nodded happily and headed for the door.

"Oh, and Jimmy -"

"Yes, Chief?"

"Get the fire hose, will ya?"

The End.

Copyright 2004, Meredith Knight

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