Exclusive!

by LaraMoon <laramoon@mac.com>

Rated: G

Submitted: March 2007

Author's Note:

The title of the story begins with an "E", making this the fifth installment in my "Clark Kent is Batman... NOT!" series.

This starts exactly where "Cut From the Same Cape" left off. It would be best if you read that one before this so you can understand what's going on... This being said, I've pasted the last lines from that story right under here so you'll be able to follow anyway. :)

Have fun!

~.~.~.~.~.~

From "Cut From the Same Cape":

"I know perfectly well who you are," she said. And as the elevator doors opened to reveal the Daily Planet lobby and she started to exit the elevator, Lois added, in a soft whisper meant only for his ears, "Superman."

Clark blinked. How could she...? he wondered. He caught up to Lois who was barely a few steps away.

"How?" was all that he managed to say.

"Like this," she told him, as she turned to face him. Grabbing him by the tie again, she pulled him in for another kiss.

"I may be blind," she explained afterwards, "but I am *not* galactically stupid!"

~.~.~.~.~.~

Exclusive!

Clark looked at Lois, sheepishly. Should he apologize? Should he try and explain? He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do now. In all the scenarios he'd ever imagined, he was always the one telling her about his secret identity - not the other way around. Was she mad? He couldn't even really tell. Then again, she'd just kissed him - twice! - and that was more than enough to make his head spin and seriously mess with his sense of perception.

"I've never thought you were stupid, Lois," he said finally. She wasn't supposed to see past the glasses and the spandex any more than anyone else in the world. Stupid was the very last thing in the world he thought Lois was, anyway.

"You must have," Lois answered slowly, emphasizing every word. "All you've done is lie to me. Every single day since I've met you, you've lied to me."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I really am," Clark said, lowering his voice. "Listen, um... Could we... Could we get out of here? The lobby, I mean. The walls have ears and I'd rather they weren't privy to this conversation."

"Who says I want to have a conversation? You lied to me. I don't want to talk about it, I want you to apologize," she replied, her eyes narrowing with anger.

She was angry. Of course she was! She had every right to be. He'd led her on in a certain way; let her develop feelings for his alter ego. Feelings he wished she had for his real self instead. Feelings he had for her, too.

"And I will," Clark promised her, after a moment. "Just, please... not here."

He looked at her with this pleading look that always made Lois feel guilty about something. Only she wasn't guilty of anything this time. He was. At least, she thought he was. Right? Was he? Oh, this was exactly what she hated about this look he had. It just melted her anger away. How could she possibly stay mad at him when he looked so sweet and innocent? For a second, Lois even thought maybe she would grab him by the tie again and... and then his expression changed to one of slight impatience. And the spell was broken.

"OK, OK, let's go. But you better make this good, buster. Or I swear, I'll... I'll... I'll print the picture!"

"What picture? What are you talking about?" Clark was really worried now. He'd just found himself face to face with Mad Dog Lane. Somehow, the beautiful woman who had just kissed him had morphed back into her own alter ego. An alter ego he was rather scared of, actually. Not that he would admit it to her, but the hounder version of his partner was about as scary as any super villain he'd ever faced.

"*The* picture," she replied, with a mischievous smile. "The one your mom said was the most adorable one she had."

He blanched. "You wouldn't!" he mumbled, incredulous. She couldn't possibly be that mean, could she?

Lois regretted her threat for a moment. Obviously it had completely shocked him. She hadn't really meant to come off that nasty. How was it she always managed to say things that were that went beyond what she thought? By leaps and bounds, even! "Maybe not," she said, trying to sound nicer, "but you better make this good, Clark. Seriously. Better than chocolate!"

"And I will," he promised again. "I'll tell you anything you want to know. Anything. Everything. I'll give you the exclusive interview you've always wanted to have. If we could just get out of here and go somewhere... you know, private?"

At the mention of an exclusive interview, Lois' heart had leapt. Yes! This was the interview she'd always dreamed of landing. This was *the* interview.

And then suddenly, it hit her...

"But I won't be able to print a word of it, will I?" she asked, dejectedly.

Clark gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Lois," he whispered, bowing his head. "But I'll answer any question you can possibly think of," he said, as if this would make her disappointment go away.

"What if I ask about the mating rituals of the knob-tailed gecko?" she asked, a shy smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. If he thought he was going to get off easy with such an open-ended suggestion, he was very much mistaken!

He looked at her and grinned. "Yeah, I can tell you about that, too."

~.~.~

"So, tell me," Lois asked, the second they got inside Clark's apartment, "where do you hide them?"

She had made him promise to show her where he kept his spare suits and capes, so they had headed over to his place.

"Here," he said, pointing to his closet. He walked over and slid the door open, then showed her the secret compartment where he stored his alter ego's clothing items.

"Wow!" Lois whispered slowly, her eyes wide in wonderment.

He chuckled. "Let me show you something," he said softly.

Lois turned to look at Clark and as she did, he turned into a human spinning top. A second later, he stood there in the Suit, with a silly grin on his face. A grin that wasn't Superman's at all; it was all Clark, she knew.

"You really are..." she started, but the rest of the words never came out. She already had hard proof - the kiss had been enough for her to know - but this somehow made it even more real. As if she needed to see, since she'd been so blind.

"Yeah," Clark said, still grinning widely.

"Can you, um... change back?" Lois asked, after a long moment. "I'd rather talk to Clark," she explained.

"Lois, I *am* Clark," he said.

"Maybe. But right this second, to me, you're Superman. And it's easier to talk to Clark." It was ridiculous, she realized. She was talking to Clark. It was him in the Suit. It was him no matter what he wore. And it was Superman, too, even in an old pair of sweats. "Please?" she begged softly.

He gave her a smile, nodded and spun right back into the clothes he'd been wearing as Clark, just a few minutes ago. When he stopped spinning around on himself, he noticed Lois swaying ever so slightly on her feet.

"You OK?" he asked, moving in closer and grabbing her gently by the shoulders.

"Um... yeah. That thing -" she lifted her index finger up and made circular motions in the air - "makes me dizzy."

"Sorry. Here, sit down," Clark suggested, helping her over to the couch.

As soon as they'd both taken place on his couch, Lois started rummaging through her handbag. Clark looked at her, puzzled. Finally, she pulled out a notepad and a pencil.

"What's that for?" he asked, amused.

"Well, this is an interview, isn't it? I ask questions, you answer them," she explained as if she were talking to a six-year-old.

"Lois..." Clark started, worried. "You can't... This is supposed to be strictly off the record."

"It is," she assured him. "I didn't take this to write down your answers with."

"You didn't?" Clark was more than confused now. Suddenly, a thought came to his mind. "Wait! Don't tell me you have a list of questions all written down already?"

Lois blushed and shifted uneasily in her seat. She started tapping the pencil on the paper nervously as she looked every which way but towards him.

"You're kidding," he said, incredulous. He glanced at the page quickly and realized that she did have a list of questions ready. A long list of questions.

"What sort of a reporter would I be if I wasn't prepared?" she said finally, looking at her notepad intensely, now thoroughly embarrassed. She had started a rapidly growing collection of questions to ask Superman ever since she'd first met him. They covered a wide spectrum of subjects, ranging from the very innocent ("How long have you been on Earth?") to the deep down and personal ("Are you currently involved with anyone?").

"That's why you're the best," Clark acknowledged.

Lois looked up as he gave her a smile to melt her heart with. For a moment, all she could do was look into his eyes - as if they contained the answers to all the mysteries of the universe. He had her completely mesmerized. Images of him - of both of him - swirled around in her head. Feelings of comfort and friendship. Of attraction and love, even.

Unable to resist the urge to kiss him, Lois threw pencil and notepad to the floor. Grabbing the end of his tie, yet again, she pulled him in closer. "This is one awful looking tie," she whispered against his lips, "but it sure is useful."

"Was that your first question?" he asked, a teasing smile playing at his lips, after she'd broken the kiss.

"Was that your final answer?" she replied, eyeing his lips all the while debating whether or not it would be wise to admit that she'd much rather spend the next half hour kissing instead of asking a series of questions she wasn't really sure she cared about anymore. "Or would you care to elaborate?"

Clark's heart began to race. He had to be imagining things, he thought, because it sounded like she'd just suggested he should kiss her again. "I could go on for hours," he said, nervously. "It's one of my favorite subjects."

"Mine too," she breathed as she threw herself in his arms.

~ The End ~

~.~.~.~.~.~

Bottom Dweller's Notes:

Yes, the E story follows the C story. Yes, it's perfectly logical. If you recall, "Dark Night" was caught in its own little time-space continuum.

Concerning "the mating rituals of the knob-tailed gecko" - this is a reference to the pilot episode. When Clark interviews with Perry, we learn that he's written an article on the subject for the Borneo Gazette.

Now, about the picture, the one Lois threatens to print... This is how it was described in "Cut From the Same Cape": The one where a one-year-old Clark, coming out of the tub, was wrapped in a yellow towel with nothing showing of him but two big brown eyes and his bare bottom.

That's it. I have nothing else to say. Move along...

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