Blind...as a Bat

by LaraMoon <laramoon@mac.com>

Rated: G

Submitted: January 2007

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Author's Notes:

This is a sequel to "A Sister Would Know," since so many of you asked for one. :) You don't really need to have read that to understand this, but it's worth a few laughs.

Thanks to everyone who's left feedback on this story when I posted it on the boards. I can't express how happy it makes me that you're having fun reading these silly little tales of mine.

Oh...and thanks to Terry Leatherwood, because the idea of (virtual) strawberries and cream was a huge incentive to make me write this! Seriously!

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Blind...as a Bat

Lois picked up the phone. It was her sister Lucy on the other end. After engaging in a little bit of small talk, Lucy finally got to the reason for her call. It had been several weeks since that evening when she'd been introduced to Clark and she was anxious to know if her big sister was still in the dark about him or not.

"Well? Have you figured it out yet?" she asked Lois. "About Clark, I mean. Have you?"

"Figured what out? What is there about Clark to figure out?" Lois replied, annoyed. She hated when people forced her to guess the things they meant to be telling her about. It always drove her absolutely crazy.

As Clark caught Lois' last few words, he couldn't help but listen in. Whoever Lois was talking to seemed to know something about him. He hoped that they hadn't seen through his secret identity...

"Oh, come on, Lois! You must have noticed. Seriously! Doesn't he remind you of someone?" Lucy said, enjoying the guessing game even more now that she knew her sister still had no clue and that, knowing her, this line of questioning must be driving her insane.

"Luce, you're imagining things. Trust me, Clark is just your ordinary, run of the mill farm boy from the Midwest. There isn't anything even remotely mysterious about him," Lois insisted in a low voice, glancing at her partner several times to make sure he was still sitting at his desk, where he couldn't possibly hear the conversation she was having.

Of course, Clark heard everything and he felt a slight pang at Lois' words. It always hurt to be reminded that the only person she was really interested in was Superman. If only she hadn't been so dismissive of his real identity. Superman, after all, was just a fabrication; Clark Kent, on the other hand was an actual real person, feelings and all. Then again, perhaps finding out that he was the one masquerading around as the Man of Steel would help her drop the whole hero-worship thing. Not that having her swoon over him was unpleasant. It really wasn't; it was simply that it was directed at a fictitious side of himself.

"For crying out loud, Lois!" Lucy said as she was now starting to think her sister's reputation as an investigative reporter was well over done. "Just look at him, will you! Look at that jaw line, that chin. And tell me there's nothing familiar about your partner. Go ahead, take a good look at the man. And if you still see nothing, sis, you need to have your eyes examined!"

Clark's blood ran cold. Lucy had figured him out. That would explain her behavior that evening when they'd gone out for a drink. Lucy had gone to the restrooms and, upon her return, she'd started acting very strangely and was flirting with him - causing Lois to start acting strangely as well. And that discussion about secrets and lies that really hadn't made any sense to him at first. He'd just thought it was about an ex-boyfriend of something... Apparently she'd had an epiphany while in the restrooms and the rest was just a ploy to make him spill the beans.

He'd always known that a different hairstyle and glasses weren't exactly an impenetrable disguise, but so far no one else seemed to have seen though it... What would he tell Lois, once Lucy told her what she knew? How could he explain that she had to find out from someone other than himself? Worse, he couldn't just run over there and interrupt the conversation - how would that look? Lois would definitely find it odd that he'd interrupt a private phone conversation. Especially since the day was almost over. Their last story had just been sent off to Perry and there really wasn't anything interesting on the horizon for now. All he could do was pray that Lucy would keep Lois guessing. At least then he'd have a chance to tell her himself. And he would...he'd find a way and he'd tell her. It would most definitely put an end to his dreams of Lois ever seeing him as being Clark first and foremost, but perhaps this way at least he might stand a chance of saving their friendship.

"Oh, all right! Hang on a sec, OK?" Lois exclaimed.

She put down the phone furiously, got up, and marched right over to Clark's desk. Not bothering with the fact that he seemed to be working on something at the time, she grabbed him by the chin and turned his head so he'd be facing her.

"Lois! What?" he mumbled. His surprise wasn't just for show; she had caught him completely unawares.

"Ah!" she let out victoriously. "See, I knew it. There really isn't anything special about you."

"Wow. Thanks, Lois, that's always nice to hear," he told her in a wounded tone. He knew perfectly well what she was referring to, but that didn't make the words any less hurtful.

"No, no, I don't mean it like that, Clark," she explained as she started back towards her desk. "You are special in a way...just not that way."

"Gee, it makes so much more sense now," he said in an acid tone. He was starting to wonder if it was even worth trying to salvage their friendship once she found out about his other identity. She'd never see him as anything more than someone she was free to push around, and God forbid she should start acting this way when he was out being Superman, else people would definitely start getting all kinds of ideas in their heads.

Lois picked up the phone receiver and put it to her ear again. "Luce, you've completely lost your mind. I am telling you, there is nothing about this man that isn't already out in the open, and my eyesight is just fine, thank you very much."

Clark looked at his watch and decided to call it a day. He grabbed his things and walked off towards the elevator, not even bothering to wish Lois a good evening.

"Oh, dammit! Lois Lane, you are as blind as you are dense! Let me spell it out for you. Clark. Kent. Is. Batman."

Clark's eyes grew wide. What? Lucy thought he was Batman? He smiled with relief at the thought that his secret was still safe for now and he kept on walking.

Lois dropped the phone in shock. She looked over to Clark's desk and realized he wasn't there anymore. She quickly scanned the room and caught sight of him as he was about to press the button on the elevator.

"Clark, wait!" she shouted. Then, grabbing the phone again, she told her sister she'd call her right back and she hung up in a hurry.

Pretending he hadn't heard her, Clark pressed the elevator button and prayed for it to hurry up and get there.

"Clark, hold on!" Lois shouted again, louder this time since he apparently had not heard her the first time.

Knowing there was no way around it this time, he dropped his head slightly and turned around to face her. She was running in his direction now. The elevator doors opened behind him. Having reached him, Lois grabbed Clark by the sleeve and pulled him into the elevator as she ran inside.

"What is it, Lois? You want to plunge the dagger even deeper into my self-esteem?" he threw at her. He hadn't planned on sounding so mean, but he just couldn't help it. Was she really going to confront him right then and there? Of course, she was wrong about who he was, but nonetheless...

"OK, I really deserved that one," she conceded. "Look, Clark, I'm sorry. About before. I really didn't mean it to sound that way," she continued in an apologetic tone, tilting her head to the side and looking at him as if she'd never seen him before.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked, somewhat annoyed. Truthfully, he knew the reason why - she was looking to see if he was really Batman - but it still felt quite uncomfortable to be looked at so intensely. Not to mention, if she actually stopped to think about it just a little bit, she would figure out who he really was. Lois really wasn't that blind!

"Something Lucy, my sister, told me... She seems to think there's something about you that you're keeping a secret from the rest of the world," she explained. "Is there, Clark? You know you can tell me. I mean, we're friends, aren't we? And friends share secrets...don't they?"

"Lois, I've known you for barely a few months. You can't seriously believe that in so short a period of time I would have been able to fill you in on absolutely every single detail of my life. Not to mention I'm pretty sure you've got plenty of secrets of your own that you're not going to share with me in a million years. So, really, Lois... What gives?"

"OK, OK, you've got me on that one," she agreed. "But what if I already knew? Clark, what if I already knew what it is that you're keeping a secret. I...I wouldn't print it, if that's what you're scared of. I swear, I would never do that."

"Print it? Gee, what kind of a secret do you think I'm keeping?" he asked. He sighed, fully aware that Lois wouldn't let go until she got it out in the open and had gotten the opportunity to verify her information.

"I know... Clark, I know that you're...well...that you're, you know...Batman." Lois bit her lip and waited for the confirmation she was certain was coming.

Clark chuckled softly. "I'm not Batman, Lois. What makes you think I am? Isn't he from Gotham?"

"You mean...? You're not?" Lois was dumbfounded. Had Lucy been playing a prank on her?

"No, I'm not. Really. There are things about me you don't know, I'll give you that, but I promise you, I'm not Batman," Clark told her simply.

"Yeah, I kinda thought so, really. I mean, Lucy said she'd recognized your jaw line and your chin, but seriously...she hasn't seen Batman up close and personal any more than I have. Besides, I really can't imagine you in a spandex suit, Clark." She laughed at the thought. "Yeah, definitely not! You'd look awful in that."

The doors to the elevator finally opened as it reached the newsroom.

"Oh, you'd be surprised, Lois," Clark mumbled under his breath as he exited the elevator.

Lois stood frozen in place, having heard his comment. She didn't think he had meant for her to hear it, but she had. The wheels in her head had started working furiously.

The elevator door closed again and it began its ascent back up to some floor or another; Lois had no idea which one.

She'd be surprised, he'd said. Why would he say that? Had he actually worn spandex before and let her see himself in it? But when would she have seen Clark Kent wearing a spandex suit? No, that made no sense! Unless... Maybe Lucy was right; maybe Clark was hiding a secret identity. Wasn't Batman, because she was mighty certain that he wouldn't have lied about it when asked point blank, but Batman wasn't the only person she knew who both had to have a secret identity and definitely wore flashy spandex tights.

OK, so what if Clark was a super hero. Who would he be?

The Flash? Nah...couldn't be. She'd seen him on a live broadcast and she'd been with Clark at the time. Green Lantern? That would have made sense since all of his powers were supposedly contained in a ring - and she was fairly certain that Clark had no super powers. He couldn't unscrew bottle caps on his own half the time! But Green Lantern was a black man and Clark most definitely wasn't.

Who else? Booster Gold? No...blond hair. Aquaman? Blond too. Martian Manhunter? Right, as if! There was this new guy she'd heard of, Spider-something or other, but she couldn't quite remember. But Lois wasn't altogether certain that this man existed; it could have been just hearsay. She decided to cross him off the list as well.

Green Arrow, perhaps? Yeah, that was a definite possibility. He didn't seem to have any superhuman abilities, other than an uncanny prowess at archery. Maybe she could challenge Clark to a game of darts, sometime... That could help prove her theory easily enough.

Too bad Clark wasn't Superman, she thought with a giggle. No... Lois knew for a fact that Clark wasn't Superman. After all, Clark had grown up in Kansas - she'd seen the baby pictures when they were in Smallville not very long ago. As for Superman, well, not only was he from Krypton, but he hadn't even been around for very long anyhow.

She sighed as she tried to imagine her partner and the man she loved, morphed into one. Wouldn't that have been just really...well, super? What a pity he wasn't, she thought.

Ah well, she'd find out soon enough, she knew. If there was one thing that Lois knew for sure about herself is that she could solve mysteries like no one else could. She'd beaten the police force to it so many times before. She'd figure Clark out eventually, she knew. And she'd enjoy every second of his confession, she thought with a sly smile.

~ The End ~

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