Bugs

By Gina Blank (blankh@cadvision.com)

Summary: One lazy weekend, Clark discovers Lois has little tolerance for insects.

[Author's note: This story is dedicated to my father, who has told me numerous times this summer that it's "just a wasp."]

***

Lois sensed the presence of someone watching her. She opened her eyes, and tilted her head to see her fiance leaning against the doorjamb, watching her suntan, with a soft smile on his face.

"Hi," she said, sitting upright in her deck chair.

"Hi, yourself," Clark stepped onto the balcony of his apartment, and lowered himself down in the deck chair beside her, "mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Lois replied, settling back.

"Aaahh, this is how we should spend all of our summers. Suntanning. Every Saturday. Together," Clark mused aloud, reaching out to hold Lois' hand.

To Lois that didn't sound too bad. Not bad at all. She loved spending time with Clark. Whenever they were together outside the office, they always did something different. Last week they'd been rollerblading. Before that they'd looked at old photographs. Whatever they did, they did it together, and had fun while doing it.

Clark enjoyed being with Lois, too, for the fact that it was fun, but he also liked it because it was the only time when Lois was herself. Not professional, independent, head-strong Lois Lane--reporter for the Daily Planet--but fun-loving, more relaxed Lois Lane--fiancee and angel.

Clark was just about to drift to sleep on that thought when his "angel" let out an ear-piercing scream. When Clark opened his eyes, he saw Lois, out of her seat, and pressed flat against the brick wall, as if she was trying to become part of it. "What on Earth--?" Clark started.

"W-W-WASP!" Lois exclaimed, wide-eyed. Then she demanded, "kill it."

Clark looked around, and saw the wasp buzzing in circles around Lois' chair. He walked over, and faster than the wasp could fly away, grabbed the yellow-and-black insect between his thumb and forefinger, the wasp wriggling all the while.

"What, THIS wasp?" Clark asked, holding the bug less than half a foot from Lois' face.

"AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" Lois screamed, and ran into the house, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Excuse me, my little six-legged little friend," Clark told the wasp, "I have to go calm my fiancee. She stings worse than you do!" Clark let the wasp go, and after unsuccessfully trying to sting his captor, it flew away.

When Clark looked into the living room of his apartment, he saw Lois sitting on the end of the couch, her back to him. "Lois?" he asked.

Lois stood up, carrying a pillow in her hand, and walked past the coffee table towards her fiance. "You *idiot*!" she yelled, hitting the pillow as hard as she could against his side. Not that it had any effect on him, "Are you INSANE?! I could have been stung!" Lois shrieked.

"It was just a wasp," Clark said.

She turned to return the pillow to the couch and continued talking, "I *hate* bugs! I'll let you know that now. Especially wasps. They're ugly, they sting, and, man, are they *annoying*!"

Clark walked around the table to face his fiancee again. "Lois, I wouldn't have let him go. That's dangerous," he told her.

"So," he said, changing the subject, "you hate bugs?"

"ALL of them. Except ants and ladybugs. The rest give me the heebie-jeebies," Lois explained starting to pace in circles around the coffee table, "when I was a kid, Lucy told me she'd found a bee-hive in the backyard, and wanted me to get the honey. I didn't know we had beehives in our backyard, and wanted to see what one looked like.

"I arrived at the beehive which was situated underneath the deck. It didn't look like a beehive--it was grey and feathery. So I brought a ladder out and climbed up for a closer inspection.

"Being the bold one that I am, I twisted it off like a light bulb and held it in my hand. Suddenly, a wasp flew out and started buzzing around me. Lucy ran. I stood as still as the Statue of Liberty, but I still got stung."

"Where?" Clark asked.

"It stung my cheek. It hurt to eat anything," Lois said, "and since then I've always kind of feared and hated bugs."

Clark gave his fiancee, who had just finished circling the table for the millionth time, a hug. "Okay, then. I won't shove anymore wasps in your face. Or bees, or hornets... say, you wanna go for a snack? We could get some chocolate covered grasshoppers!" Clark couldn't resist.

"Creep!" Lois said, and pushed Clark with both hands. Clark lost his balance, and, tumbling backwards, grabbed Lois' arm on the way down, bringing her crashing on top of him. Lois looked into Clark's eyes for a moment, and burst out laughing, resting her head against his chest when she couldn't laugh anymore, and falling asleep a few moments later.

Clark let out a sigh of relief that she wasn't going to kill him anymore, and decided that a snack of any kind could wait until later.

***

Lois slowly opened her eyes and looked at her watch. She'd been asleep--on top of Clark--for three hours. Clark had fallen asleep, too. In fact, they were still in the same position as when *she'd* fallen asleep.

Lois rolled off her husband-to-be, "AUGH!" Lois let out a brief shriek as she hit the ground with a thud, arousing Clark from his mid-air nap. Clark turned over and looked at Lois, sitting on the floor with a disgusted look on her face.

"What are you trying to do--kill me?!" Lois asked.

Clark lowered his altitude, and helped Lois up. He couldn't help but giggle, "Lois, I'm sorry. Listen, you've had a rough afternoon, and it's mostly my fault. Let me take you to the park, and we'll get some ice cream, okay?" Clark stroked Lois' cheek with his thumb.

"Thank you. That sounds nice," Lois replied, and hugged her fiance.

***

Lois and Clark strolled through Metropolis Park, hand in hand. Lois was eating her ice cream happily; double scooped rocky road, in a waffle cone.

"Better?" Clark asked.

"Mmm, definitely," Lois purred, licking her ice cream cone. "Yikes!" Lois squealed, and neatly dodged a dragonfly who was sitting peacefully on the bicycle path.

"Okay, Lois, that's just dragonfly," Clark stated.

"I know, but it's so big, and it has *FOUR WINGS*!" Lois complained, "with any luck, he'll get squashed by a cyclist."

Clark rolled his eyes. "So what's so special about ladybugs and ants that you accept them?" he asked.

"They're harmless," Lois answered simply. "They can't hurt me. They just crawl around and mind their own business. They don't buzz around annoyingly like a--WASP!" Lois jumped back as a wasp flew towards her. "No, wasp, this is MY ice cream!" Lois told the wasp, who was eagerly buzzing around her rocky road.

"Clark, get it away from me!" Lois cried, fluttering her right hand at the wasp while holding her ice cream with the left.

"Lois, stand still," Clark demanded.

"No!" Lois cried, trying unsuccessfully to shoo the intruder away.

"Lois, I can't get the wasp if you don't stay still!"

"No way!" Lois repeated, "that's how I got stung the *last* time!" Lois gave the wasp a strong 'whoosh' and before she could find where it had flown to, to shoo it again, she felt a sharp pinch in her left arm. "OW!!" Lois screamed, dropping her ice cream, "Clark, why didn't you get it away from me?!"

"You wouldn't stand still! ...Are you okay?" Clark asked, stepping forward to inspect her arm.

"I'm fine!" Lois exclaimed, pulling away, "but I'm in a really bad mood right now, and I'd appreciate it if you took me home."

"Sure, Honey. Come on," Clark put his arm around Lois, led her into a clump of secluded trees, and flew her home.

***

Clark had gotten an exhausted, yet grumpy, Lois into bed, making sure she was all right, and had flown back to his apartment.

*For better or for worse. And we're not even married yet!* Clark mused, as he lay in bed. Soon, sleep overcame him, and he drifted into dreamland.

Lois awoke in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. She felt rather hot, having not kept a window open, and after she washed her hands, decided to get a drink of water.

Lois reached out for the bathroom cup and glanced down at her arm. "CLAAAAARRK!!!"

Clark sat bolt upright in his bed. Lois had screamed his name. She couldn't have been attacked or hurt by someone else, otherwise she would have yelled out "Superman!" Clark had a feeling that whatever trouble Lois was in this time, it had the word 'WASP' written all over it.

Within two seconds, Clark was standing beside Lois in her bathroom. "Lois!" he exclaimed, looking at her arm.

"Clark, look at this--my arm's turning into a *balloon*!"

"Shhh, Lois, calm down," Clark said, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"But, Clark! I look like Popeye!" Lois complained.

"I know. I'll fly you to the hospital. Do you want to grab anything before we go?"

"No," *just your neck,* Lois added silently.

"All right then, come on," Clark scooped Lois into his arms and flew out the window.

"This is your fault, you know," Lois stated after a moment.

"Oh, really?" Clark asked. He knew where this was headed. He'd been there before.

"Yes, if you had just grabbed the wasp in the park in the first place, this wouldn't have happened."

"Lois, you wouldn't stay still," Clark pointed out, "you were fluttering your arms almost faster than *I* could see."

Knowing Clark had gotten the last word, Lois let out a "hmph," and the two flew to the hospital in silence.

***

"Well, fortunately, it's just a mild allergic reaction," the doctor said, after *two hours* at the hospital.

"But I got stung as a kid and this never happened," Lois told him.

"Well, sometimes allergies don't form until later in life. Now, if you do as I've prescribed, the swelling should stay down, and the wasp bite should heal quickly."

"Thank you, Dr. Smith," Clark told him. The couple talked to the doctor for a few more minutes, and then Clark changed back into Superman to fly Lois home.

Lois didn't sleep much the rest of the night. She was feeling guilty (not to mention her arm was in pain). She'd been so mean to Clark. She'd thrown a pillow at him, called him names, and blamed him for everything that had happened that day.

*I have to apologize,* Lois thought. At one point, Mr. Sandman flew by, and Lois was out like a light.

***

When Lois woke up and entered her kitchen, she was surprised to see Clark standing there, fixing breakfast.

"How'd you get in here?" she asked.

"Lois, you gave me a key," Clark reminded her, "I thought I'd surprise you by making breakfast. How's your arm?"

"It's...better," Lois said, inspecting her arm.

"Does it hurt?" Clark asked.

"No, not anymore...Listen, Clark, we need to talk. Well, *I* need to talk. I've been a real jerk towards you lately."

"Lois..."

"No, listen. It was okay to get mad at you for shoving a wasp in my face, but I shouldn't have blown up at you for the wasp that stung me. That wasn't your fault. It was mine...a- and the wasp's. But like I always do when I'm upset, I put the blame on someone else. And I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Clark told her, dropping what he was doing to give his fiancee a hug.

"Thank you. It's just that wasps are annoying, and when I get annoyed, I get frustrated, and..."

"Lois?" I know all this already. I've seen you when you get mad!" Clark smiled. He and Lois separated and continued making breakfast. They were starting the French toast when Lois' phone rang.

"Hello? ...Oh, hi, Mom," Lois said, "no, I'm..." Lois looked at her arm, "...fine. How are you? Uh huh...oh, well that's nice... yeah..." Lois got into a conversation with her mother, and Clark continued making breakfast.

Lois was still talking to her mother by the time Clark had every thing ready, and Clark was getting impatient waiting. He wanted breakfast! After about 15 minutes of waiting, the breakfast nearly cold, Clark stepped up behind Lois and poked her shoulder.

Lois swatted her hand at his poky finger.

Clark waited a minute and poked again.

"Stop it! That's annoying!" Lois hissed.

Clark decided to have a little fun with Lois, and gave her a brief tickle attack under her arms. Lois let out a little shriek.

"Lois, is everything all right?" her mother asked on the other end.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was nothing," Lois smiled, "just a wasp!"

THE END

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